Bring Me Back to Life
by escape-reader.13
Summary: Rose Hathaway is a promising doctor, dating the man of her dreams, surrounded by friend that are more like family than her blood is. After a night out turns deadly, Rose finds herself in a hole she can't bring herself up from, nor does she try. But when the person she least expects is at the edge trying to pull her up, she realizes love isn't so one and done.
1. What a Sunny Sunny Life

**A/N: Hey everyone :) I got another story to share! So just head's up, it's going to start of really really sad (lik starting the chapter after this, they're going to pull at your heart) I just hope you guys like it and stick with it :)**

* * *

_Knock knock_. "Come in," I said without looking up from my paperwork.

"Roza, do you have a minute?" Dimitri said with his thick Russian accent.

"Of course! What is it, Comrade? Do we need to have the birds and bees talk?" I said playfully as I reclined back in my chair and motioned for him to take a seat. He shook his head and leaned against my doorframe.

"No we don't. But I was hoping you could do me a favor, two really," he said slowly. "Um, could you see someone for me?"

I gave him a quizzical look and he just nodded his head toward me. A second later Natasha Ozera came walking into my office, a balloon in front of her belly.

"Tasha! Oh wow, I wasn't aware you guys got back together."

"We didn't," Dimitri growled. "I just...I'm helping her out."

"Oh," I said, feeling awkward for saying something in the first place. Clearing my throat, I got up and walked up to them. "Well, how far along are you?"

"Five months. I'm due for a checkup next month but my doctor left and I need a new one."

"Do you think you could see her?" Dimitri asked again. I sighed as I thought about it. Tasha and I have never been friends, we were just polite and amicable with each other. I put up with her because Dimitri went out with her for a while and he's always seen the good in her.

"Well, I could," I drew out, the obvious "but" hanging in the air. "I'll have one of my residents take you on and I'll supervise. I don't deal with friends or family."

"That's fine," Tasha said. "I'll just go make an appointment then."

"Ok. Tell her to make it with Jill," I said as she started walking back down the hall. When she was out of hearing range I turned towards Dimitri, who had taken a seat, and raised both my eyebrows. "Wanna explain that to me? I thought you said you'd never wanted to deal with her again?"

"She's pregnant, Rose."

"Yea with the baby of the guy she cheated on you with. If I remember correctly, that shit happened about five or six months ago, right?"

"Yeah," he grumbled. "Rose she came to my door crying. I guess she's been trying to hide it, and Christian found out and blew a gasket. And Ethan left her. What was I suppose to do."

"Slam the door on her face."

"Rose..."

"Dimitri she broke your heart. Pulled it out and crushed it to ashes. You would drink yourself to sleep. Remember all the times I had to cover your ass because you had a hangover? I had to get Lissa and Eddie to help me. It wasn't until I chewed your ass out after two months and threatened to tell Stan that you broke out of your hole. Why are you letting her back into your life?"

"She made a mistake, Rose. We all make them. Remember Mason?"

"Ok one, it's only a mistake if she did it once. Her and Ethan had been going at it for over a year. Secondly, Mason doesn't count. I was drunk and it was a Christmas party. We were under a mistletoe."

"Fine. Look. I just told her I'd help her get a new doctor. And I did."

"Yea and then you're just going to help her set up the nursery and go to Mommy and Me classes."

"Rose, I'm—"

"No Dimitri listen. You are. You so fucking are. You still love her. And everyone knows you want nothing more than to be a father. And she's using that baby to trap you in again. And I swear on my license I won't let her. I meant what I said, she's Jill patient, so I'm going to make sure you are nowhere near her for the next four months. And the next eighteen years after that. I'll move in with you if I have to."

He let out a laugh and pulled me to him, kissing my head as he murmured, "Oh Roza." I was still a little pissed, but being in his arms my anger started dissipating. Her pulled back a bit and looked me in the eyes. "You're wrong about one thing. I don't love her. Not anymore. And I have you to thank for that."

I felt a blush coming along and looked away, clearing my throat again, before changing the subject. "You said you had two favors. What's the second."

"Oh right! Can you be Sonya's obstetrician? And not like with Tasha, I want you to personally care for her. For some reason this pregnancy is scaring her and she listens to you."

"Fine," I jokingly whined. "Your lucky your such a bad ass orthopedic surgeon or I wouldn't gotten to know you."

He gave a whole hearted laugh. "Roza, I highly doubt it's the magic I make with tools that's kept you around," he said as he walked out of my office.

* * *

"Paging Dr. Sexy," said a deep, rich voice filled with humor. I could see the smile on his face and twinkle in his emerald green eyes. "Dr. Sexy you're being paged to the reception desk."

Laughing, I stopped what I was doing and went up to the nurse's desk.

"Where is he, Liss?" I asked my best friend, aka head nurse of this department.

"Who?" she asked innocently, but I could see in her pale jade green eyes that she knew. I slit my eyes as I kept my eyes locked with hers. I saw her slightly shift uncomfortably, meaning if I kept my gaze a while longer she might crack and tell me. Except right when I had her, someone wrapped their arms me and kisses my jawline.

"There you are," he said in a deep voice. The whole thing made me jump and slightly scream before turning around and meeting the brightest emerald green eyes. "Hey," he said softly before giving me a soft kiss, which I returned just as softly.

"Hey," I returned after we broke apart. "What are you doing here?"

"A man can't come and surprise his girlfriend just cause?" Adrian asked with mock hurt. We had been dating for about two years now and still hearing him call me his girlfriend sent butterflies flying in my stomach. I raised my eyebrow, a trick I had finally mastered thanks Dimitri.

"I guess," I said slowly. "But you're not a man that does anything without a reason. So what can I do for you, babe?"

"Hmm you could do me," he said playfully, but I saw the lust in his eyes. I bit my lip, the idea sounding really intruiging right now. "But that's for later. I came to tell you that I'm taking you out tomorrow so you might want to leave work a bit early to get ready."

"Can I know where we're going?"

"Nope. It's a surprise. But you should dress formally. I'll pick you up at 6," he said before giving me a parting kiss. He was about to pull away, but I wasn't ready, so I pulled him back.

"Vasilisa, have you seen Ro-" Dimitri started to say, making Adrian and I break apart. When he saw us, he cut himself off and gave a small smile. "Adrian."

"Belikov, how's surgery?" Adrian asked as he stepped behind me, wrapping his arm around my waist and resting his head on mine.

"Crazy. Apparently there was some rock climbing thing happening so we got a lot of people coming in from accidents. How's the firm?"

"Busy. We just landed a Fortune 500 client, so we're working to finalize everything."

"That's good. Congrats," Dimitri said before turning to me. "Um, could you come by my office when you're free? I need your help on something."

"Lose the tie. I never liked it," I said, my face serious as I shook my head, but my eyes filled with humor.

"Not about the tie," he grumbled as he touched it protectively. "Plus Paul and Zoya picked it out for me for my birthday."

"Oh. Well, I'll stop by in a few minutes then," I said with a big smile. I loved messing with Dimitri since med school, which was about 8 years ago, and yet he still hasn't fully understood my sense of humor. Maybe because when we first met, I'd mess with him in a not so nice way and it wasn't until we got partnered for a project that I started being nice. Nonetheless, it seems that the Russian has yet to grow a funny bone.

"Whenever's fine," he said before saying goodbye and going back to his office.

"What was that about?" Adrian asked.

"I dunno. Maybe about Tasha or Sonya. Don't ask."

"Got it. Well, my little doctor, I got to get back to the office before they chops my balls off for being late."

"No fair, you just got here!" I whined with a pout, that quickly turned into a smile when his goodbye kiss lingered a bit longer than usual.

"I'll make it up to you tomorrow night. I promise."

"Fine. I'm holding you to it."

When he left, I didn't feel like going back to my office, so I stayed with Lissa.

"So Christian's becoming an uncle," I said as I leaned over the counter.

"Yea but he all but said she was dead to him when he found out."

"So I heard," I mumbled. "Can you believe she came to me to be her doctor?"

"You are the best. Plus, didn't you hand her off to Jill?"

"Hand her off sounds so dismissive. I merely seized the opportunity give my resident some hands on experience. She'll learn how to work with patients when you're not there from the beginning. Plus, I rather deal with Sonya than with Tasha."

"I hear you on that one. Can you believe it's been 10 years since we graduated college!"

"Yea. We should do something. You're the head of pediatric nurses. I've already made a name for myself and I haven't even finished fellowship yet. Dimitri's being a badass surgeon. And didn't Christian just make detective?"

"Yes he did. We should all go to dinner. Maybe ask Adrian to bring someone to be Dimitri's plus one."

"No no no. Plus, I tried setting him up someone and you see how that worked out. I just hope he's serious about not getting pulled into Tasha's trap."

"Me too. I like Dimitri, and honestly, if Tasha wasn't Christian's only family member I wouldn't have cared if he gave her the boot. But she's pregnant and alone."

"She looked for it though. She gave up a great guy for Joe the plumber."

"His name was Ethan and he was a mechanic."

"Worse, Liss. That's so much worse. Actually, if he owned a mechanic shop it might be better, but if it's the guy that would fix our cars for a discounted price than I rather it have been the plumber." Lissa laughed and shook her head. "So Liss I know you and Christian have this whole ten year plan that's been planned out since you guys met like five years ago. But he did pop the question last year, so when are you gonna do the do?"

"I dunno. I was actually thinking now that he's detective and things are starting to settle down, now might be a good time to start planning. Why? Do you wanna help?"

"Sure, why not. If you want we can get started tonight. Come to my place with magazines and I'll have wine and pizza."

"Sounds like a plan," she said. I said goodbye and went off to find Dimitri.

* * *

"You wanted to see me?" I asked as I knocked on Dimitri's door. His head shot up and he quickly put his bookmark in his book and set it aside. "New western novel?"

"Don't start, Roza."

"Comrade, all I asked is if it was new," I said, holding my hands up in surrender. "I didn't set you up for any jokes or make a comment. I genuinely was curious. Now, if I wanted to make fun I would have asked where's the hat to match your duster."

He groaned in defeat as a wide, victorious smile passed my across my lips.

"Why?" was all he asked, his voice so full of pain.

"You're a 34 year old orthopedic surgeon that people turn to for advise or to ask to do their surgery. You're from Russia. And you have the biggest fascination with cowboys! It just doesn't add up."

"How many times do we have this conversation? Ever since I walked into Anatomy that first day in medical school you have constantly poked fun at my one interest."

"And yet here we are 10 years later the best of friends. Funny how life works huh?" I asked as I sat down. "But I highly doubt you called me over to walk down memory lane."

"Right. I need you to ask me out."

"Um I have a boyfriend. Who, might I remind you, just had a pleasant conversation with you not that long ago."

"The man hates me."

"Do you blame him? You're freaking sex on legs and you work with me. Any man that likes me is jealous of you because aside from Lissa, you're the only close friend I have. But Adrian's jealous is completely ridiculous. I mean if anything was going to happen between us then it would have happened already."

Shit where did that come from? After what happened in med school, I gave up any chances of being with him and moved on. I saw something flash through Dimitri's eyes, but it quickly went away.

"I didn't mean it that. Tasha wants to me to come over tonight, and wouldn't take no for answer. But if I tell her I already have plans with you she'll drop it."

"Lissa and I are going to start planning her wedding. I don't think you want to be there for that."

"No you're right. But I wouldn't mind hanging out with Christian."

"Fine. But you're bringing the pizza and a bottle of wine."

"Sounds good to me," he said as he leaned back in his seat and ran his long fingers over his eyes.

"So that was all?" I asked as I got up.

"I guess. I mean can't we talk and catch up?"

"Oh, well, yeah," I said as I sat back down. "How the family?"

"Good. Vika's moving here to open another club."

"Ah so the great Viktoria Belikova is moving to LA?" He nodded his head. "Is everyone moving with her?"

"Yea. They're letting Vika get her own place, which I think is above the club. But since me, Sonya, and now Vika all live here, mama doesn't see why not."

"You must be happy," I noted, seeing the look and smile that came over him when I mentioned his family. "How many years has it been since you've seen them?"

"About 10. If Sonya hadn't moved here last year for the nursing school Lissa got her into, I wouldn't have known seen her either."

"Wow. How did you make it through?"

"Phone calls and Skype. How are your relationship with your dad?"

"Still on the mend. I'm not mad at him anymore, but we don't see each other enough to actually build a relationship. He's neck deep in his business, side business included, but he stops by time from time."

"So he doesn't know about Adrian."

"He knows. And he approves. I think more because now he's got an attorney he can trust than because he actually got to know him and likes him."

Dimitri threw his head back in laughter and like that I stayed for a bit as we shared patient stories and family (or friends in my case) stories. When five o clock came around, I decided I didn't want to go back to work, so I grabbed my things and headed home to straighten it up before everyone came.

* * *

**A/N: So there you have it. Wasn't sad, but I wanted you guys to get a feel of the relationships and get a little backstory. If I get enough reviews I might post the second chapter early :)**

**Oh and no this isn't a Rose/Adrian story...it's definitely Rose/Dimitri, it's just going to take a while to get there. **

**So please leave a review and tell me what you think :)**


	2. A Night Full of Many Promises

**A/N: So quick thank you to my betas, DEE2389 and Mitrioselove (^_^), and thanks for all the follows/favorites/reviews! I'm glad you guys liked it! So as a reward, here's an early chapter. Although...well just wait til the end..._Enjoy_**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, Richelle Mead does, but the idea's all mine :D**

* * *

"Rose you look gorgeous," Adrian said for the billionth time since he had picked me up.

I had on a Dolce & Gabbana black sequin strapless dress that fell to the ground even with the 5 inch black heels I had on. The dress hugged me from my chest to my mid-thigh before gracefully falling down. Deciding not to do much with my hair, I curled my already wavy hair and pinned it to the side, while doing light make-up to make sure my dress was the focus. I paired my outfit with diamond studs and bracelet and a black box clutch.

"I know," I said as I took his hand and got out of the town car. "The Opera house?"

"Yup. Don't you know what's playing tonight?" he asked as we walked up. I grabbed my slim shawl closer to me as a slight breeze passed by.

"Nope," I said, popping my 'p' as I looked around for any clues, soon finding I had nothing to aid me. "Should I know?"

"Not really," he said as he opened the door for me and gave the man at the door his coat and my shawl. "Ah there they are." My eyes looked up and met what was awaiting.

Up the steps were his parents. Nathan, Adrian's father, didn't really like me, since I wasn't a rich kid and basically grew up under the Dragomir's wings, while his mom, Daniella, was nice and polite, so long as I made her son happy she didn't mind me. Actually, she sort of enjoyed my company, claiming I brought a bit of the spark to family gatherings.

"Mom, you look gorgeous as ever," Adrian said, wrapping her into a hug as she laughed and kissed his cheek. "Dad."

"Adrian," his father huffed out, nothing but the typical response.

"Be nice you two," Daniella warned. "Rose you look absolutely stunning."

"Thank you. You look beautiful, too." I said politely. I was always nice to her, seeing as she had gone out of her way to be nice to me. "Daniella, what if we go find our seats while they get us some drinks?"

"Sounds like a lovely plan," she said, looping her arm through mine as we went up to the our reserved box.

In the three years I've known Adrian, I've learned that his mother loves a good opera like I do, and ever since he's found out, he's invited me to the every show his parents go to. What I didn't know was that it was an Ivashkov thing to go to the opening and closing over every play worth going to. And Adrian being Adrian never told me when they were, instead he always made it a surprise. Not that I minded. I mean I hate surprises, but these I loved.

"So, sweetie, what's new with you?" Daniella asked as we made our way up.

"Nothing much. Same old same old around the hospital. I got two new patients, but I'm letting my resident take the reigns on one of them." My mind wondered back to a pregnant Tasha and I tried my hardest not to scowl.

"Oh that's a sweet thing to do. You must really trust her if you're letting her take control." Though true that Jill was wonderful and more than capable of taking charge of Tasha's pregnancy, I had other intentions for giving it to her.

"I trust her enough, plus I'm still supervising, I just well I don't quite like the lady so I thought the best solution was to let Jill get some practice." There was no use in not telling her, she seemed to always understand what I was saying, and why I did things certain ways.

"When life gives you lemon, make lemonade, right?" She looked over smiling, and I shrugged.

"Or squirt some in at someone's eyes," I joked, both of us laughing as we handed the usher our tickets. "What about you? Any events coming up?"

"Nothing soon. We're planning for charity event for next month for the firefighters." Her eyes twinkled, and I knew this was an event she really could not wait for.

"That sounds nice. Well count me in and if you need any help…"

"I know I know. I can't wait until you're my daughter-in-law."

I laughed. "Daniella, I think it's a miracle I've kept Adrian interested this long, no need to rush things."

"Rush what, little doctor?" Adrian asked as he sat down next to me, a glass of wine in each hand.

"Nothing," I said as I took one of the glasses from him. "Did you-?" I didn't get to finish before he pulled out a box of swedish fish and chocolates from his jacket pocket. "Best boyfriend ever," I said before leaning in to give him a chaste kiss.

"So have you figured out what play it is?" he asked.

"No," I said before looking down at my playbill, my whole face lighting up. "Phantom of the Opera?" He nodded his head, his emerald green eyes lighting up, before stealing another kiss. All too soon the lights started dimming down, signaling the start of the play.

LINE BREAK

"That was…" I said, trailing off when I couldn't find the right word.

"Amazing? Spectacular?" Adrian offered as he he placed his arm around my waist as we left the opera house. Instead of having the car pick us up where it dropped us off, Adrian asked for it to meet us at the park a little ways down.

"I guess," I laughed. "I mean how many times have I seen it, just in the three years you've known me? And still, it brings out the same emotions and I never expect things to happen."

"That's one of the many things I love about you," he said as he pinned me to the wall, the darkness covering us, before pressing his lips to mine. I automatically reacted, closing my eyes and returning the kiss with just as much passion as I raked my hands through his short, chestnut brown hair.

"I love you too," I gasped out as I tried to catch my breath when we broke apart. "Adrian, we should get going someone's going to catch us." But he didn't listen. His head lowered and he started kissing my neck, hitting the spot behind my ear that made my legs jelly. Knowing the reaction he'd get, his hands were firmly against my waist, keeping me standing, as he leaned his body into mine. "Adrian…Adri-oh don't stop," I moaned as he kept going lower before coming back up to my lips.

"Mm I could do this forever," he said when he broke away. Before either of us could say anything, someone else spoke.

"Mind sharing that sweet piece of ass?" A male voice rang out from behind, and a guy came out into the low light. He had on a hoodie, so I couldn't see his face. Immediately, I hid behind Adrian as he stepped in front.

"Sorry I'm selfish," he said before turning around and takin my hand. But before we could move, we heard a click and turned around to see a gun pointed at us.

"Listen you rich asshole, you're gonna share." Panic surged through me, as did fear. I had never had anything like this happen to me before. "Or I'm going to enjoy her while you watch.

"L-l-look if you want money then take it," I said, tossing him a couple 20's in my wallet.

"You think I want that? No. How much do you think someone's willing to pay for you guys? At least 100 times that, right?"

"Just take the money and leave us alone," Adrian said. "That can get you some food and a warm bed for the night."

"I said no," the man with the gun said as he walked towards us. The gun shaking a bit before it went still, its aim still trailed on us.

"Look, we can talk this out," Adrian persisted, turning on his charismatic charm, as he lifted his hands up and started walking.

"Stay there!" I clutched onto Adrian's wrist, willing him to say here, but he wouldn't.

"I just want to talk," he said, taking another slow step. "I'm sure we can come to a compromise." Before Adrian could take another step, I saw the man's finger tighten around the trigger. I closed my eyes shut, hearing the gun go off and footsteps running off. When I opened my eyes again, I saw Adrian on the floor, clutching his lower abdomen.

"OH MY GOD!" I shouted as I got on my knees, placing Adrian on top of my legs. "Adrian. Adrian, baby. Stay with me. Please!"

"Don't cry, Rose," he gasped out, his cocky smile on as his face began to pale. "It's all gonna be ok."

"Shh, baby, don't talk," I said before pulling out my phone calling 911.

When I got off the phone, I turned back to Adrian, who looked like he was about to go to sleep. "Hey, baby, wake up. Wake up. Look at me, yea look at me. They'll be here soon and they're gonna fix you up."

"Rose, have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?" I smiled softly at him, applying some pressure onto his wound.

"No," I lied, water filling my eyes as I gave him a smile.

"Well they're so beautiful that I never thought God had made anything more stunning until I saw them sad and with tears in their eyes. The water just makes them shine," he went on. "Rose, I…I love you."

"Shh, don't talk. Save your energy. I love you too." My hands were now soaked with his blood, and I feared for the worse.

"No let me finish," he said, his face slightly scowling as he looked determined to say what he wanted to say as he shifted himself to get into a better position. "Rose, I love you and I never have wanted anyone like I want you. I want a big house and kids that look like you." He slowly reached into his pocket, his face grimacing at the pain, and pulled out a small box. "So please, fulfill my dying wish and say you'll marry me."

"Adrian," I gasped, momentarily distracted by the ring shining in the black box in his hand, but then I processed what he said. "Adrian, you're not going to die! I won't let you."

"Come on, little doctor," he said with a playful smile. "We know I'll be lucky to make it to the hospital. Please just say yes."

I nodded my head, tears flowing down my cheeks freely. I pulled one hand away from his wound and let him do as he pleased. With a faint smile, he painfully slid the ring on my finger. It was a diamond engagement ring, with a big diamond in the middle, and small diamonds encrusted in half of the band.

"You know for a guy who just got shot, you have a lot of energy," I said, both of us laughing.

"Well I just got engaged to the love of my life, I feel better than ever." Adrian coughed slightly, his face contorting in pain as he did.

"Well save that energy so you can come back home with me," I said as I stroked his hair slowly. I saw his eyes fighting to stay awake. "Adrian, please don't go to sleep. Just stay with me."

"Do you remember the time first we met?" he asked after a while.

I let out a laugh. "How could I forget? I was just about ready to punch you!"

"I never believed in love at first sight until I saw you that day," he said, earning a smirk from me. "No honest! Rose I have never been so happy to be part of that brigade."

"You mean the suicide club where you broke your leg?" I rolled my eyes thinking back to that day.

"That wasn't suppose to happen."

"When you test the success rate of falling off a seven foot platform with a potato you are asking to come out injured!" I countered.

"Yea but we were attached to a wire! Mine just so happened to be looser than the others."

"Uh huh. Lucky me I was on the ER rotation so I got stuck with you. And they had you on pain meds," I said, remembering all the slurred pick up lines he fed him while he was there.

"Yea, but I wasn't on pain meds the rest of these past three years," he said before giving me his crooked smile. "I was hooked on you though." I couldn't help but lean down and kiss him. "Rose, I need you promise me something."

I could hear the seriousness in his voice, and my smile dropped. "Adrian, no. You're going to make it out of this. And we're going to go back home and plan our wedding."

"Rose, it's only going to hurt you more if you ignore the inevitable. Just promise me, please promise me, you won't forget me. You'll move on with life and find someone that cares for you and loves you at least half of what I did, and you'll be happy, but you won't forget me or our time together. Promise me."

"Adrian I can't," I said softly, the tears once again pouring from my eyes. "Adrian I am so hopelessly in love with you I will bring you back from the dead just to kill you for leaving me. You can't ask me to move on."

"Rose, please. Just give me that piece of mind. I can't die knowing that I'm leaving you all alone. I need to know that someone someday will be there for you like I've tried to be," he pleaded as he held my hand and brought it to his face and kissed the inside of my palm. Faintly, I heard the ambulance sirens approaching us.

"Fine I promise," I said, not really sure if I could. He had to make it, he just had to. "Just keep your eyes open."

"Rose it hurts," he wined.

"I know, baby, but they're almost here. Just stay with me for a minute," I said while I kept stroking his hair.

"Rose, I'm so tired, just let me sleep, please babe, just a quick nap," he said. He tried turning into me, but it hurt too much so he just stayed put.

"Shh, this is going to be all over soon. Just hang in there. Keep your eyes open. Let me see those beautiful green eyes of yours."

"Oh that's why you want me to stay awake, so you could see my eyes. I feel so used," he joked, making me give a small laughter.

"Yup that's exactly why." Just then the ambulance's siren came blaring towards us. "You hear that baby? Told you they were coming." In no time, they had him on a gurney and were loading him into the back of the ambulance, letting me get in right next to him.

"Rose," Adrian huffed out once we started driving as he held onto my hand. "Sing for me. Please."

"Sure, baby," I said before is started to sing the first song that came to mind, Andrew Belle's In My Veins, tears slipping down my tears.

"I love you, Rose," he said softly before giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

"I love you too," I whispered, breaking down when I squeezed his hand and got no response. "Please don't leave me," I begged, almost out of my seat as I grabbed his shoulders.

"Ma'am please stay seated," one of the paramedics said, gently holding my shoulder to stop me from going any further.

"Please don't leave me," I repeated, my vision blurred by the tears. "Is he…is he…" I couldn't bring myself to say the words.

"He has a faint pulse, ma'am," said the same guy, but the look in his eyes told me that was just false hope. With nothing else to do, I laid down on the bench, my hand clutching Adrian's.

LINE BREAK

"_Adrian stop it!__" __I gasped out. __"__Please Adrian! You know how ticklish I am!__"_

"_That__'__s exactly why I won__'__t stop,__" __he said as he kept tickling my sides to the point that I was crying and out of breath. _

_It was Sunday and neither of us had to work so after a passionate night, we decided to just lay in bed for a few hours. That was until his hand accidentally grazed my side and it tickled me. Before I knew it, his hands stopped tickling as he caressed my cheek before placing his lips against mine, giving me a soft kiss. I happily returned the kiss, wrapping my arms around him to deepen the kiss. __"__Slow down there, little doctor. I quite enjoy the lazy feel to this morning.__"_

_Seeing the pout on my face, he gave me his signature crooked smile before leaning down and placing a small peck on my nose before getting out of bed._

"_Where are you going?__" __I asked when he pulled on his boxers and jeans from last night._

"_I__'__m going to make my pretty lady some breakfast,__" __he said as he left my room. _

_Sighing, I put on some panties and a bra before sliding on the button down he wore last night. When I got to the kitchen, I poured two cups of orange juice and brought them over to the living room coffee table, along with the pitcher before laying down on the couch and turning the TV on. _

"_There better be vodka in that OJ,__" __Adrian said as he placed our plates on the table before lifting my legs and placing them on top of his leg. I scooted up so I sitting down with my legs still on top of his lap as he handed me my plate. _

"_Personally I prefer mimosas to screwdrivers, but for once I__'__d like some OJ without the booze,__" __I said before taking a bite of my bacon._

"_Fine,__" __he huffed before focusing on his breakfasts. We didn__'__t say much while we ate and watched some cartoons. __"__Rose, how long have we been dating?__"_

_I looked at him confused and worried. __"__I dunno about a year and half. Why?__"_

"_Well how many of those days have we spent here?__"_

"_Too many to count,__" __I said, having no idea where this was heading. _

"_Then doesn__'__t it seem pointless to _not_ live together?__" __he asked as he slyly managed to get me sitting on his lap._

"_I guess,__" __I said slowly. __"__I think you need to persuade me some more.__"_

"_Fine,__" __he whispered, giving me a wicked smile before locking my lips with his.__Laughing, I kissed him back and he spent the rest of the afternoon doing just that and at nightfall we went back to my place and started packing._

"Mrs. Ivashkov," someone kept repeating. It wasn't until they shook my shoulders that I was brought out of my memory and focused in on the doctor that was at eye level. When the paramedics got to the hospital, I was sent to the waiting room and must have dozed off while Adrian was rushed into surgery.

"It's Hathaway," I croaked, sitting up and getting a better look at my surroundings. When my vision cleared, I saw a middle aged man in scrubs, his hole front chest covered in blood. Adrian's blood.

"Oh my apologies then. I just wanted to let you know…"

"He didn't make did he?" There was no need for him to tell me, I worked in a hospital. I knew how the whole process worked.

"You have to know we did everything we could," he began. Oh boy, this speech. "But he had lost a lot of blood and his heart rate was already low by the time we got him into the OR. Also, the bullet hit major organs, so it would have been difficult to get it out without putting his life at risk." Blood? Looking down at my hands, I saw how they were covered in red, the diamonds in the engagement ring I just got barely shining through.

"So you didn't even try?" My eyes stayed on my hands, as I spoke. My voice so harsh it was as if someone else was speaking for me, my vision blurring as tears welled in my eyes.

"We did everything we could. I'm very sorry for your loss."

"Sure you are," I mumbled.

"Is there anyone you can call? Any family of his or friends that should know?" she asked, ignoring my comment. I nodded my head, my stomach dropping at the idea of having to call Daniella and Nathan. She said she'd leave to go do some paper work and give me time. With a deep breathe, and a shaky hand, I pulled out my phone and dialed the first number that came to mind. It rang a while before they picked up.

"_Roza?_" Dimitri's thick voice came from the other line, groggy with sleep. "_Do you know what time it is?_"

"No," I said hoarsely, trying to stop the tears that were going to fall sooner or later. "Dimitri…"

"_What__'__s wrong, Rose? Where are you?_" he asked, worry waking him up fully.

"I-I'm at the hospital," I said before taking a deep breath and continuing. "He's dead, Dimitri. Adrian's dead."

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**A/N: Shh let's have a moment of silence for our fallen brother.**

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**Ok so before you shoot me! TWO THINGS! **

**1. I just found this quote today and it fits with what I've done with Rose. "Your characters are like geodes ****if you want to see what they're really made of you must_break them_."**

**2. I started this story with this chapter in mind, I mean it is Romitri story, just taking a different way of getting there. **

**Now...just let it all out. The reviews are open for writing. Let me know your favorite part, your least favorite part, how much it hurts, how much it doesn't hurt, what you think will happen next chapter. I look forward to hearing from you :)**

**Until Next Time ~xo**


	3. Wake Me Up When This Nightmare Ends

**A/N: Thank you guys for the reviews :) and to clarify, Rose is just an Obstetricians so she just works with babies up until their first year. And in this story I won't even so much as entertain the idea of Dimitri even _thinking_ of giving Tasha another chance. He's a good guy, but he's not stupid. Also, I'm so glad I wrote Adrian's dying scene well enough that you guys had such a strong reaction!**

**Lastly, my reason for the whole proposal/moving on thing. I kind of touch on it, but I didn't do an Adrian POV for two reasons. 1. I don't think I can do him justice (I'm not downgrading my writing, but I know my limits, and Adrian is totally different mindset then what I'm used to writing). 2. I don't know if doing his POV just to explain his reasons for everything would fit well with the story, adn it could spoil some surprise I have in story. HOWEVER, if you want that POV, then PM me or leave a review and I'll work on it :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the VA characters.**

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DPOV

_Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. _

My cellphone buzzed and rang from the nightstand but I wanted nothing to do with it. Groaning, I woke up and checked who was calling. Without thinking I answered it, no matter what I had promised to pick up her calls.

"Roza?" I mumbled into the phone as my eye caught the time on my clock. "Do you know what time it is?"

"_No_," she said, her voice coarse and strained. "_Dimitri…_" Her tone, the sadness in the way she said my name, woke me up even faster, her voice worried me to think that she was hurt or in danger.

"What's wrong, Rose?" I asked, getting out of bed. My jeans were up my legs and around my waist before the question was done. "Where are you?"

"_I-i'm at the hospital,_" she said. Why was she there? Was she injured? I there my shirt on even fast, groping around for my car keys. "_He's dead, Dimitri._ _Adrian's dead._" The hopelessness and pain made me freeze. I asked her what hospital she was at, thought it took her several attempts to respond, and raced to meet her there.

When I walked into the Emergency Room, I saw Rose hugging her knees crying her heart out in a corner of the waiting room. My own heart broke at the sight of her. I could only imagine what she was going through. More than anything, I wanted to know what happened, if she and been there. By the look of it, it seemed as if she hadn't missed a moment. Taking her in, my worry spiked as I saw her dress dull in some areas while the rest of it was sparkling under the light, and her hands seemed be covered in something.

"Roza?" I tentatively asked as I approached her slowly, afraid to frighten her and not wanting to cause anymore stress.

"Dimitri!" she cried as she launched into my arms. Immediately I held her tight, sitting down and stroking her hair soothingly while I tried to calm her crying. "I have to call him mom. Oh my god! I have to call Daniella!"

"Calm down, Rose," I said, trying to stop her from hyperventilating, even though I knew it might have been too late. "Do you want me to call her?"

"No I have to do it," she said before taking out her phone. She dialed a number quickly and dried the tears on her face. Her breathing hitched when I assumed his mother picked up. "D-d-daniella? Yea, it's me…. Sorry for calling so late…it's Adrian…" She couldn't get past that before she broke down again, this time her sobs uncontrollable. I took the phone from her and told her where we were and promptly hung up, there was no way I was going to tell her over the phone that her son was dead. I then started focusing on Rose, biting my lips from asking what happened and working to get her breathing back to normal.

"Rose, you need to calm down," I said as I rocked her. She started shaking and fear coursed through me. I hated to see her like this and I didn't know what to do about it.

"I-i-i can't! He left me, Dimitri. I begged him to stay and he left," she cried. Her voice was pure panic, her head was shaking from side to side. "Why does everyone I love leave me!" Her big brown eyes met mine, wiling me to give her answer.

"Not everyone. You have me-" I cut myself off when I saw something shine on her left ring finger when she brought her hands up to cover her face. "Rose, what's that?"

Pausing from her crying to look at it, she let out a humorless chuckle, her eyes glazing over with something I had never seen before. "He proposed after he got shot. I'm guessing he was going to at the park, but we never got there. How could he propose to me and then just…"

"Die?" I asked, saying what she couldn't bring herself to say. She bit her trembling lip and nodded her head before placing it on my shoulder. I stroked her back and murmured sweet Russian consolations until her exhaustion won out and she passed out.

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RPOV

"Rose? Rose? Rose!" I heard a female voice saying. Opening my eyes, I realized I fell asleep on Dimitri and that the lady calling me was Daniella, probably saying my name until she found me. "Rose! What happened?"

"I…We…we were on our way to the park, where the car was meeting us, and we kinda got sidetracked on the way there." I closed my eyes, remembering the kissing, the love we had shared. " Then some guys comes out and Adrian gets in front of me." Tears leaked over as I thought about how brave he had been, how he had tried so hard to protect me. "When Adrian tries to talk to him, and approach him, the guy told him to stop and when Adrian didn't, he shot him. I didn't see it. I closed my eyes when I saw his finger tighten around the trigger and then when I opened them Adrian was on the ground. I…i tried to save him, but I couldn't," I said, looking down at my still bloody hands before breaking down again. It's like all the tears I've held back while growing back were flowing freely now.

"Oh, Rose, honey, you couldn't have saved him. Did he…did he…" she stuttered, but I knew what she meant, and I shook my head.

"He was awake the whole time we waited. I don't know if he…in the ambulance or on the operating table like the doctor said."

"Why do you say that?" Dimitri asked, his brows furrowing.

"Because he asked me to sing to him, and then when I finished his hand went limp, but the paramedic said he still had a faint pulse. I think they were lying to save my sanity."

"I'm going to go talk to the doctor," Dimitri said as he skillfully let me go and got up, but I was quicker then him and held on to his arm and, looking at him pleadingly. "I'm not leaving. I'll be right back, but you two need some time."

As soon as he left, Daniella came to me and we embraced each other. "I'm so sorry," I kept repeating, though I knew nothing would ever convey how sorry I was. I hadn't been able to save her son, my love.

"What for, honey? You couldn't have predicted this was going to happen. I mean you didn't even know he was going to propose to you," Daniella said, silent tears rolling down her cheek as she gave me a small smile. How could she be so strong?

"How did you-?" I asked before remembering the daughter-in-law comment she made. "Daniella, I can't imagine what you must be going through right now."

"Oh, don't worry about me, sweetie. I have Nathan, even if he's not here. You my poor child lost who you turned to for comfort, although what I saw when I came in says a different story." My eyes widened in shock. What was she talking about? Could she think I wasn't completely loyal to Adrian? And with Dimitri? She couldn't be more wrong! I love Adrian, not loved.

"Who? Dimitri? He's my co-worker. We've been friends since medical school. I didn't want to call Lissa so I called him because I couldn't bear to be alone." And with Dimitri, I could grieve freely because he was in more control of his emotions than Lissa would.

"If you say so, honey," she said as she stroked my arms. I could hear a bit of a harsh tone, and I wanted her to know that Adrian was the only one for me. I couldn't handle what was happening.

"Daniella, I don't want you to think there's anything going on with Dimitri and I. We're close friends, but that's all. I never cheated on Adrian, and I highly doubt I'll be able to move on." It was the truth, no matter how deeply I cared for Dimitri, he's always going to be a friend. I had started a life with Adrian, and that's all I wanted, and still do even if he's not here.

"Never say never, Rose. I see the way that young man looks at you, if anyone's going to help you move on, it's him." Her voice held hope, but i was slightly appalled. I shook my head, knowing that by the time I feel ready to move on he'd be married and with a family. "Well enough about that. I want to go say goodbye to my son." Her tone turned, and her eyes wandered over me.

I nodded my head, not being able to speak and brought my knees up to my chin again, wondering if I'd ever be able to move on. Sure Adrian didn't have this whirlwind romance that went on for years, but what we had, in a short amount of time, meant something. He won over my cold heart little by little and when we started dating, it didn't say long before we said "I love you."

"Rose?" Dimitri's voice was soft, bringing me out of my thoughts. I looked up at him and saw his eyes turn sorry as he took me in. "Let me take you home."

I shook my head, not ready to leave yet. I fi left, then I had to completely accept what happened tonight. "I want to wait for Daniella to get back." Something in his eyes told me he knew something I didn't, something he was trying to hide from me, but ever since we've met we've never been able to lie or hide anything from each other. "What happened?"

"She broke down when she saw him. Like emotionally and mentally. They had to sedate her. Nathan's on his way now." I gasped, but wasn't surprised. She had been so strong with me, but that was her son in the morgue.

"Then take me home," I said as I got up and grabbed my clutch. I was hoping I could go home and wake up from this nightmare.

* * *

"Quiet," I whispered as Dimitri and I crept to my room, using my worry for her as a distraction. Even though I moved in with Adrian months ago, i kept my room here for nights I had a long shift or Adrian was away or Lissa and I just wanted to have a girls night. Tonight, though, I didn't want to step foot in that apartment, not yet. "I don't want to wake Lissa up."

"Ok, Roza," he said as he closed my door and pulled me to bed. "You should rest." His eyes, just like Daniella's, wondered over me, looking for something.

"I'm scared," I admitted, curling up to him, seeking his comfort. "I'm scared I'll see him in my dreams." As much as I wanted to wake up and have it all be a bad dream, I didn't want to dream about him either.

"You shouldn't be afraid. Instead of wallowing in the pain of missing him and being afraid of being reminded of him, live life in his memory and revel in those sweet memories you have of him, reminding yourself that what you guys had was something worth remembering." His words were sweet, but I couldn't comprehend them.

"I can't deal with good memories. They'll get tainted by what I saw tonight. Dimitri, you didn't see the life literally leave his body. Leave me." Again, tonight flashes through my mind. The way he looked at me. The way his skin paled and his eyes dulled. The way I felt so hopeless and useless.

"I know, Roza," he whispered softly, tucking a strand of hair behind my hair. "But it's not going to do you any good to think of the bad. Just rest. Things will take time, but in the end it will be better."

"And what do I do when I wake up? I'm going to get washed in a bucket of cold water when I remember he's never coming back. He's never going to wake me up with kisses or make me breakfast. He's never going to tickle me until I can't breathe. I'm never going to be able to scold him for smoking those godforsaken clove cigars!" My words were fast, and my breath escaped me as panic surged through me again. I was never going to see him ever again. I used to hate seeing him and wish him away, but now I would give anything to go back in time and cherish those moments.

"Shh. Don't worry about tomorrow until it's here." I was battling sleep and exhaustion when I felt him get off my bed. Quickly, I hugged his waist. He couldn't leave when i needed him. Without him, I knew for sure I wouldn't be able to make it. "Easy there. I'm getting getting up to take off my shoes."

"Oh," I said, letting him go as I got up. "I should change for bed and wash up." I grabbed some sweats and a t-shirt and went to Lissa's bathroom.

When I looked at the mirror, I almost didn't recognize myself. Compared to the happy, beautiful woman that was getting ready to go out with her boyfriend hours before, I looked like a grim, twisted version. My mascara running down my cheeks, my eyes bloodshot. Looking down, my hands were clothed in dark red, the blood dried up and stubborn to come off. Fear coursed through me as I went to the sink.

When I couldn't get my hands and arms lighter than a pinkish-red, I broke down again, my vision blurring as the stupid blood was determined to stay and remind me of my failure. I just wanted to be normal and not have to look down my hands and think of how they hadn't been able to save him. I hadn't been able to save him. Banging my head against the mirror, I accidentally opened the door. Looking up, I came eye-to-eye with a bottles of pills. Lissa's medicine. She hasn't taken any of them since she started dating Christian, claiming he was the only medicine she needed to get over her depression, so I didn't see any harm in borrowing one. Grabbing the one that looked like sleeping pills, I shook one out into my palm. Thinking of tonight and how easily I've been crying, I dropped another three pills into my hand and swallowed then dry.

That was a bad idea because now I was too uncoordinated to change. Somewhere in the process of getting out of my dress and putting my shorts on, I slipped and landed on my ass, my head banging into against the door.

"Uf!" I groaned as I rolled over and clutched my head, the biggest explosion going off inside. Trying to get myself up, I slipped on my dress and fell again, this time knocking the pills into the sink and hitting my head against the floor. "Bitch!" I muttered as the door opened and Dimitri, Lissa, and Christian stood in the doorway.

"Rose!" Lissa gasped, probably surprised and confused to see me, as Dimitri stepped forward and picked me up. It wasn't easy since my body was starting to succumb to whatever drug I took and becoming dead weight.

"Look away, Sparky," I mumbled when I realized I was only in my undergarments. "No peepshow for you."

"What's wrong with you?" Lissa asked. "Have you been drinking?"

"No silly girl," I said, giggling. "I just took some night-night pills to stop the nightmares from coming." Dimitri groaned and Lissa's eyes widened as they flickered to the empty bottle on the sink counter. My mind was starting to get hazy, but still sleep wasn't alluding to me.

"Dimitri what happened?" Lissa demanded as I snuggled into him.

"I…I can't tell you. Ask her in the morning," he said before bending over to grab my sweatpants and walked me back to my room.

"Roza, why did you do that?" he asked when he laid me down, staring at me in disbelief as he put on my sweatpants.

"I don't know what you mean," I tried to say but sleep was calling.

"The pills, Roza," he said angrily, but something in my eye must have told him it was no use asking because he just sighed and shook his head.

"Don't be mad, Comrade," I said as he tucked me in. "And don't go! Not like you did in med school!"

"What do you mean?"

"When you ran away. That hurt, Dimitri. And then Adrian made me forget but now he left too. Everyone leaves," I murmured before letting the darkness wrap me up.

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**A/N: What do you think happened in med school? **

**Btw I know I probably didn't portray her right since I've never really seen anyone on medication they aren't suppose to be on, but I wanted her to be loopy so I hope I did a good job with that. **

**Leave me a review and tell me your ideas and maybe next week I'll explain!**


	4. Going Through the Motions

**A/N: Thanks for the great reviews :) keep em coming!**

**So quick heads up, after this chapter there's lik two more angsty chapters before Rose starts getting her life back to normal...I'll have a few Romitri moments, but it's not going to be very romanticy tbh...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the VA characters.**

**Quick thank you to my beta :)**

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_Wake up. Eat. Work. Go home. Eat. Sleep. Repeat._

That has been my mantra these last two weeks. Adrian was gone and I can't deal with it, so I focused on what I could deal with: work. I've been in the hospital all day every day. When obstetric shifts ended, I go to NICU and help out with what I could, even if it was just carrying the babies while feeding them. I just had to do anything and everything in order to keep busy.

When I am in Peds, I hole up in my office, only leaving to check on patients, and I don't let anyone into my office. Partially because it's a mess of paperwork, but mostly because I don't want to talk to anyone. Lissa and Dimitri try to bait me out, but they gave up after the first week. Instead, they tend to sneak into my office and leave food on my desk. I can always tell who cooks what. Lunches are made by Lissa or Christian, and dinners are made by Dimitri or Olena, his mother. As delicious as they smell, I'm never in the right state of mind to actually appreciate the taste, and I never have enough appetite to eat the whole dish.

The only person I've really talked to Daniella, and that's for funeral arrangements. It's scheduled for next week and we only talk once or twice a week, mainly her asking if something fit Adrian's personality. She may be her mother, but I lived with him, so if anyone knew his likings, it was me. And though it would hurt me to tell her about his likes and dislikes, I knew she was going through so much more. No one wanted to bury their child before their time.

I'm not going to lie and say the calls didn't get to me, because they did. After every call, I'd end up clutching the closest pillow and crying my eyes out, remembering how I'll never get to see another lazy grin, or hear one of his careless laughs. I'll never be mesmerized by his eyes that twinkle so much it's like they're actually emeralds. It had all gotten to the point that I'd be willing to live with the clove cigarettes if it meant I got him back. And then I'd go to the kitchen, pour myself a glass of wine - not half a glass, or ¾ of a glass…a full, to the rim glass - and go to bed, falling into a deep, alcohol induced sleep once I finished the wine. I wasn't a light drinker, but by the time I pour myself my bedtime glass, I would have already had two or three glasses, more or less the same amount.

Then I'd wake up and go through the process again. I know it killed Dimitri and Lissa to see me like this, especially Dimitri since I called him the night of the shooting, but talking them took too much energy. And to see the look of pity and sympathy they gave me made me feel small and weak. It didn't matter that that's exactly how I felt, I couldn't let others see me that way. So instead of dealing with their looks, I stayed in my office. Which was where I was at right now, filling out some paperwork for a patient I just saw.

_Knock. Knock._

"Come in," I said, in a dead tone. There was no use in trying to show emotion, no one seemed to think anything of it.

"Roza? You busy?" Dimitri said, slightly opening the door, but not attempting to come in. Biting back a groan, I told him he could come in, muttering an apology for the mess. "It's fine. You're head's been somewhere else." Here we go again. If this is another lecture about taking time for myself, I'm stabbing him with this pen. Somehow guessing what I was thinking, he cleared his throat and changed the subject. "Either way. Sonya's here and we were wondering if you had time to see her. She cancelled her initial appointment be-"

"Because something came up with Zoya. I get it," I said, getting up from my chair. "I can see her. Have Lissa bring me her file and I'll meet you in-"

"Room 1. Lissa's already got her there and here's the file." He handed me a slim, beige manila folder as he lead me to the room his sister was in. I mustered a small smile, not really touching my eyes, in gratitude. He gave a similar in return, except his held more sadness, probably because I have yet to give a full, heartfelt smile.

"So are you staying the whole time or you just making sure I make it to her room?" I kept walking but managed to give him a sidelong stare.

"I'm staying the whole time, Roza." Something struck a nerve with me, as if he meant something by it. Either way, the thought annoyed me, but then again this was his sister. Maybe I needed to stop finding ulterior motives when he's just trying to be nice.

"Just wondering," I said as I opened the door. "Hey Sonya, how are you?"

"I'm good. A little tired, but that's normal right?" She did look tired, but there was something about her that just glowed. There was no doubt in my mind that she was happy. She was building a future that I was suddenly envious of.

"Yes it is. I'm guessing Kal's really excited about the baby." I muster all the conversation skills I had left, wanting to be nice and trying to care.

"Oh you don't even know!" she said, laughing. "He's ready to build a nursery! I feel bad because his excitement annoys me sometimes, but then again I've been through this three times already with Karo's kids and my baby girl, and this his first time."

"That's right. How's he treating the kids?" I smiled again, feeling a litter better as we talked, the pain in my chest dulling but still there.

"He adores them! Ana has him wrapped around her little fingers, Zoya too! And Paul looks up to him. I think he even took away Dimka's thunder," she said, chuckling as Dimitri's face fell into a glare. Even I couldn't stop the small chuckle that left my lips. Before Kal came into the picture, Paul praised the ground Dimitri walked on, wanting to grow up to be like his Uncle Dimka. "But as much as he loves my daughter and my niece and nephew, he was over the moon when we found out I was carrying his child."

"I'm assuming you're just as happy," I said as I took her in, well knowing she was.

"Of course I am! I love him! And after Rolan ran out on Ana, I thought I was going to have to raise her alone. Thank the Lord, he put Kal in my life. He made me believe in love again, and he's given my daughter a father she can look up to. I couldn't ask for anything more, and what's nine months of hell if I can give him what he wants most?" I gave her a tight lip smile and nodded my head as I bit my tongue to stop the tears from falling.

Not that I don't like Sonya, but right now I envied her. She gets the life I wanted, the life I had started to plan out. It was a life that I I still wanted. She gets a second chance at love while my chance got stripped away from me. She may believe there's a God, but I can't say I agree. I mean, if that's true, why would he take away the one good thing in my life? Why would He give me someone to show me what I was missing out on when it came to love and then take him away? It just didn't make sense and was so unfair.

Taking a deep breath, I shook the thoughts away. I know things happen for a reason, but right now I can't seem see any that made sense. Feeling pressure on my shoulder, I looked up to see Dimitri giving me a warm smile and slightly easing away the negative feelings by massaging my shoulder. I don't know how, but it seems like he always knew what I'm going to say and what I'm thinking, and right now I'm glad he did.

"I'm happy for you, Sonya. Truly. If anyone deserves a second chance, it's you. I'm glad you have Kal, and that you're going to have a baby," I said before starting the ultrasound. She was only about three months into her pregnancy, but it was enough to be able to show her the baby growing inside her. Watching the light turn on in her eyes as she saw her soon-to-be baby, I mentally scolded myself for being so safe when I was with Adrian. After printing a few copies of the ultrasound, I cleaned her off and helped her up. Once she was on her feet, I started to pull back, but she held on to my arms.

"Roza, I'm sorry for what I said earlier." Her eyes shone with worry while mine stared at her confused.

"What? Why?"

"Because here I am gushing about my life, when you're still mourning. It was insensitive of me," she said, pulling me into a hug.

I was in too much shock to really return the gesture. When we first met, Sonya didn't like me. She thought I was a bad influence on her brother and I was going to ruin his chances of being a doctor. It wasn't until he graduated that she started warming up to me. We're not close like I am with Lissa or Viktoria, Dimitri and Sonya's baby sister, but we're pleasant to each other and she trust me enough to be her doctor, so that says something. Still, her apology and hug surprised me.

"Sonya," I began when she pulled away. "You don't have anything to apologize for. Life gave you a second chance at love, and it only makes sense to be happy about it and about that little angel growing inside you. Yea, I lost my love, but I'll get better. Eventually. I think I just have to get through his funeral before I start healing."

"Rose, can I say something?" she said wearily. Not sure where this was going, I nodded my head. "When Rolan left, I was heartbroken. I wouldn't leave my room. I ignored Paul and Zoya, scaring them away when they wanted to make their auntie smile. I would bitch at anyone who tried talking to me. Then I found out I was pregnant with Ana and I found a reason to move on. Then I meet Kal and I realize if Rolan had never ran out, I wouldn't find the love of my life. I'm not saying Adrian's a bad guy, because he's not. You and I never really got along, but still you brought him to meet my family like they were yours and he accepted us, spoiling the kids when he could. He was and alway will be a good guy, and he'll be dearly missed. But honestly, if your love was to end, wouldn't you prefer it being like this? Where all you have is good memories that aren't tarred by him walking out? And while you may have loved him a lot, maybe this was God's way of showing you that he has some else for you, and he needs you to know what love is to love him the way he deserves it. Mama always says when a door closes, a window opens. The door may have closed, but don't let it lock you in. Go find that window and start living again."

By the end of her speech, I had tears silently rolling down my cheek. She gave me a small, sad, sympathetic smile and another hug before seeing herself out. For the first time, the sympathy didn't irk me. Actually, in some weird way, I felt connected to Sonya. We both went through heartbreaks, and if today showed me anything, it's that there's a chance life can get better. But right now, all I could do was break down the emotionless wall I had put up, and let the tears fall down freely. Immediately, I felt Dimitri's strong arms pulling me into a comforting embrace, holding me while I let all the tears go. He murmured sweet nothings into my ear, hoping that it would help, while he stroked my hair. Once I felt the showers slowing down, I looked up at him.

"It it ever going to get better?" I wanted him to tell me yes, to tell me he knew everything would be better. But I knew better than to think he would say that to me.

"I don't know, Roza. I don't know. But you were there for me, and I'm going to be here for you. We just have to take it one day at a time," he said softly, his voice caressing me while he wiped away the tear tracks with his thumb, managing to give me a small smile. I nodded my head and buried myself into him embrace, reveling in the feeling of someone else comforting me.

* * *

After a routine check-up with another patient, I went back to my office and started filling out paperwork. I didn't take long before I started nodding off, all the sleepless nights finally catching up. Right as I laid my head down, the door opened and Lissa walked in.

"Hey. Oh sorry I didn't know you were taking a nap," she said. I could see the indecision to leave in her eyes. Sighing, I invited her in, reassuring her that I wasn't taking a nap and asked what she wanted. "I was just checking in to see how you're doing."

"I'm fine," I said exasperatedly, not really meaning to but I was so tired of that being the first thing people come to me for. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I um overheard what Sonya told you and -"

"Saw me crying." I took a deep breath, running my hand over my eyes before looking up at her. "I'm fine. It's just what she told me really got to me and I had a minor lapse of control."

"Rose…" she started to say, but I knew where she was going and I wasn't in the mood.

I could have easily zoned her out while she rambled about how I needed to let it out or it's not good for me to keep it all bottled in, how I had friends and family here to support me. I was really tempted to because even if I don't listen, her lectures give me the assurance that not everyone is gone. But, I'm also tired of the same shit. Why didn't people get that I wanted to be alone? They kept calling to check up on me, or bringing me meals in hopes that they'd run into me.

They keep asking if I'm ok or if I need anything. What do they expect me to say? That I feel empty inside, like someone gutted me and threw back into the world as some kind of sick joke? That all I want is for Adrian to walk into my office, wrap me up into a tight hug, and promise me he would never leave me? Or better yet, did they want me to say that I'm fine? I've said that so many times it's not even a word anymore, just an automatic response.

So no, I didn't want to hear her lecture. I just wanted to put my walls back up and go back to the shell of a person I've turned into.

"Lissa, save it," I said, maybe a bit too harshly. "Unless you have something important to ask me, can you please let me get me back to my work?"

She stood there, dumbfounded for a bit before pursing her lips. I thought she was going to leave, meaning she didn't come for anything besides checking up on me like I'm a child, but as today would have it, she had something important to say. "I'm cooking dinner tonight with Chris, and we wanted you to come over. I'm betting my closet of shoes that you haven't eaten anything today."

"I'm not hungry," I replied honestly, focusing back on my paperwork.

"At least come over and grab it to go, so you have something for when you're hungry."

"I appreciate the help, Liss, but I don't want it," I said, again my voice harsher than I intend it to be, but it got my point across. This time when she pursed her lips, her eyes narrowed before she spun around and walked out.

* * *

Going home later that night, I was about ready to eat some food and pass out on the couch. Only problem was that when I opened my fridge I came face to face with bare shelves. Maybe I should have taken Lissa up on her offer. _Too late now_, I thought as I dialed the pizza place down the street and ordered a pepperoni pie to be delivered. Glancing around my apartment, I wondered what I should do. Even with wall the decoration and furniture skillfully placed around the loft, it felt so bare, so lifeless, so dark. Opening the curtains wouldn't do much. It was missing something, something I was missing. That vibrant energy Adrian brought with him no matter where he went.

That train of thought ended before it spiraled out of control when I head a beeping coming from my home phone. Only five people know that number, well now four. Wondering who it could be, I click the play button.

"_One new message_," the answering machine robotically said before Daniella's voice came through. "_Rose? I know you_'_re probably not at home, which is why I called here and not your cell phone. It_'_s just._" She took a moment to let a deep breathe. "_Rose, the ceremony_'_s this weekend and I just need a few more things from you. The caterers need a final head count for the number of guest coming, so I was wondering if you had anyone you wanted to add. Don_'_t worry I already have Vasilisa and her boyfriend in the list. Also, I know this will be hard to do, but could you go up and speak during the service? No one knew him better than you. No one knew the real him. Not even me. When-when he was around you he was someone worth presenting. I know it_'_s a lot to ask, but please go up and say a little something. Well that_'_s all. I have everything else finalized and ready. Oh! And be a dear and reply in an email, please._" With another sigh, I head the call end and the machine end the message. After deleting it, I emailed her saying to add a plus one for me and that I'd go up and speak.

Conveniently, the pizza boy came at that moment, and I was able to stall for a few minutes before sitting down at my kitchen island with a large pizza and a new bottle of wine opened ready to start writing Adrian's eulogy.

* * *

**A/N: So what do you guys think of the hints I'm dropping (if you catch them :) hehe)? Also any guesses about what next chapter will be?**

**Don't forget to leave me a review with your favorite (or least favorite part) and if there's any ideas you guys want to see with Rose and Dimitri or just Rose or just in the story in general...leave a review or PM me...I'm kinda writing this story as I post (which is so different to how I've done my other stories) and I'm still formulating a story outline for how I want this story to go and end.**

**Oh! AND A VERY HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! TO ANY READER I HAV THAT'S A MOM, AND JUST TO ALL YOUR MOM'S IN GENERAL!**

**_See you next week :)_  
**


	5. No One Said Saying Goodbye Was Easy

**A/N: So this chapter has a couple flashbacks, just a heads up so you're not confused. Flashbacks are in italics. Also, it's a bit heavy and has some pretty meaty paragraphs with a little dialogue. Good luck :)**

**Thanks to my beta for helping me make this better :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any VA characters**

* * *

_What is this priest talking about_? I wondered as I listened to him talk about Adrian like he knew him. From what Daniella had told me, this priest was the headmaster of the boarding school Adrian went to when he was younger, so how would he know the kind of man Adrian was? And since when was he studious? For the millionth time, my mind wandered to how much I hated funerals. Especially all these people here crying about how missed Adrian will be. Where were they when he needed support? When his father kicked him out of his house? Balling my hands into a fist, death gripping the tissue Lissa gave me, it took all my strength to not snap at everyone. It also helped when Dimitri took one of my hands in his and massaged it until it unclenched.

"And now to say a few words is Adrian's girlfriend," the priests voice echoed through the church, pulling me away from my thoughts.

Taking a few deep breathes I brushed over my black suede 7 inch heels before getting up and placing my long black trench coat and black, floral lace clutch where I was sitting. Slowly walking up the altar, my hands slightly shaking. When I got up, I ran a hand down my black, sleeveless dress with a pleated skirt that fell right above my knees, and a sweetheart neckline that had a round neckline lace cover over my chest, Adrian would have loved this dress. I could imagine what he would have said to me, how he would have made me feel so beautiful.

Afterwards, I ran a shaky hand along my side swept bangs, straightening my black pill hat with a light veil that barely covered my eyes, and fixing any imaginary hairs that fell out of my tight bun. Taking another deep breath, I looked up and addressed everyone in the church. I had never thought I would be doing something like this. But I had to be brave, brave and strong.

"Fiancé," I began with. "I'm his fiancé. Our engagement may have been short-lived, but our two years together was the happiest time of my life. Everyone who knows about charismatic Adrian with the painstakingly styled messy hair knew that he didn't have a care in the world. When he walks into a room, he gives off this air of confidence. He knows he's going to come out winning, and he lets everyone see that. But what no one knew was the Adrian behind closed doors. No one knew the Adrian I fell in love with."

I took another deep breathe before continuing.

"Nothing about Adrian and I was normal. We met when he came into the ER for breaking his leg. He told me he never believed in love at first sight until the moment he saw me," I said, chuckling as I felt the tears fall down. "He spent a year trying to get me to go out with him because once Adrian Ivashkov set his sights on something, he didn't give up until he got it. It's one of the many things I loved about him. Adrian is persistent and funny and a big romantic. I know it doesn't sound like a lot, but if you knew him, you'd know how different the Adrian I'm describing is to the Adrian you grabbed a drink with or went to court with. You should have seen him the day I accepted to be his girlfriend! He bought a glass of champagne for the whole section we were seated in."

"_Wow this restaurant is beautiful,_" _I gushed as Adrian pushed my seat in. I looked around in shock that he would even take me here._

"_Not as beautiful as you look tonight,_" _As he spoke he gave me a quick kiss on my cheek before taking his own seat. I couldn_'_t help but blush. _

_All I was was wearing was a simple black dress that hugged my hips and full bust. It was a short dressthat stopped at mid-thigh, with short, capped sleeves and an open U-neckline that plunges down to where my breast are, giving a nice view while maintaining the classy elegant look. I paired the dress with my black Nikita heels, they_'_re faux suede Mary Jane_'_s with 6 inch heels, sexy and deadly all in one, but my outfit wasn_'_t anything special. The only color I had on was the dark cherry red lipstick I applied after work. _

"_I_'_m not wearing anything extraordinary, Adrian,_" _I said, trying to bring down the redness in my cheeks. That didn_'_t work out so well when he brushed some of my hair out of my face and brought me close to his face._

"_You could be wearing the ragiest clothes and you_'_ll still be the most beautiful woman here,_" _he said softly before placing a light kiss that lasted longer than it was meant to and left me wanting more. For months he_'_d been getting clothes for me, getting to know me and getting me to take him seriously and while we_'_d go out with friends or grab lunch, tonight was the first time we grabbed dinner together. _

"_You know that kiss is going to cost you,_" _I joked as I leaned back into my seat and looked at the menu, but as I shifted my focus, something caught my eye. _

_At another table across from us there was a black haired lady and brown haired man making out. I_'_m not one to judge, but this was a bit much. I was about to look away when they shifted and I saw that the guy was Dimitri. My happy mood evaporating, I looked down at my menu to find something. How could he be doing that? And with her of all people._

"_Finding anything you like?_" _Adrian asked, grabbing my hand and stroking the back of it with the pad of this thumb._

"_I don_'_t even know where to begin,_" _I said, giving him a small smile . From the corner of my eye I saw Dimitri_'_s date stroke his arm and look at him adoringly. Souring my mood further as I kept looking, I almost missed what Adrian said. _

"_What was that?_"

"_I was asking if you wanted me to order, but I can understand if you were distracted by my handsome good looks,_" _he said jokingly, getting me to laugh. I let him order for me and was surprised when he picked just what I liked. Steak with salad and cheesy potatoes._

"_So how was work?_" _I asked once the waiter to shift my attention from the scene just tables away from us._

"_Boring. My dad gave me this one divorce case that should be shut and close but the lady_'_s husband_'_s lawyer is hell bent on making this hard for me._" _He sighed deeply and shook his head._

"_Aw well I_'_m sorry. I hope tonight can give you a little break from it._"_He flashed me a lopsided grin before scooting closer to me and taking both my hands in his._

"_Rose, you know I like you right?_" _I nodded my head, not quite sure where this was going.. _"_And for the past year I_'_ve tried becoming the man you think I can be hoping you_'_d give me a chance. I_'_ve given up my cigarettes and cut back on my drinking. What else am I suppose to do?_"

_I slipped one of my hand away from his and tapped my chin with my finger, lookinglike I had to think about it. _"_Have you tried I dunno asking me?_"

"_Yea and you - oh,_" _he said, realization twinkling his green eyes so they looked more like emerald jewels than pupils. Standing up and pulling me with him, he wrapped his arms around my waist and looked me straight in the eyes._

"_Rose Hathaway, will you be my girlfriend?_"

"_Mmm I_'_ll have to think about it,_" _I said, smiling when his faced dropped. Giving him a quick, heated kiss, I broke into a grin. _"_Of course I_'_ll be your girlfriend._"

_When it comes to Adrian, I_'_ve learned to expect the unexpected, but even then what he did was surprise me. Tightening his hold on me, he lifted me in the air and twirled me around, his laughter filling my ears. After my initial squeal of surprise, I couldn_'_t help but laugh with him. I once read that falling in love was like falling as asleep, and they couldn_'_t be more right. I might not be so in love with Adrian to say the three words, but I was certain I was falling in love with him. _

"_She_'_s my girlfriend!_" _he shouted before turning to the closest waiter. _"_Two glasses of champagne please! Actually a glass for everyone! I want everyone to celebrate with me!_"

"_Adrian!_" _I said, smacking his chest, but I couldn_'_t say anything else because he wrapped me into a long, slow kiss. My eyes fluttered open after he pulled away, seeing him with a smirk on before he placed another quick kiss and placing me down right as the waiters gave us our glass._

"_Rose, you don_'_t know how happy you just made me._" _His smile reached his eyes making them twinkle and shine in a way I had never seen on him._

"_Oh I think I_'_ve got an idea,_" _I said looking around and chuckling._

"_Well I have been fighting to get that yes for a year now,_" _he teased back. _

_Before I could say anything back, a couple came up to us. Not just any couple, Dimitri and his date. Getting a good look at her, I couldn_'_t help but notice there was something different about her. she was still thin and tall, even without the heels. She had the same long black hair and piercing blue eyes like her nephew, but what got my attention was the scar running down her left cheek. Looking away before I was caught staring, I looked at Dimitri, who seemed to not want to be here. _

"_I just had to come and congratulate you guys. I_'_ve never seen anyone so excited to get a girlfriend,_" _she teased, her voice annoying me still. My eyes slit when she wrapped her arms around Dimitri_'_s and leaned into him. _"_I was just telling him how romantic that was. Oh! Where my manners! I_'_m Natasha Ozera, but you can call me Tasha, and this is-_"

"_I know who you are. And I know Dimitri,_" _I said, not really in the mood to have my best friend introduced to me by her. Of all the woman in the world, in this state, he has to go out with Christian_'_s bitchy, slutty aunt! Taking a deep breath, I tried to keep my dislike for her off my face. _

"_Oh you two know each other?_" _she asked, looking at Dimitri._

"_Yeah. Rose is the obstetrician at the hospital I work at. Actually, we_'_ve been friends since medical school,_" _he said, flashing me a smile, it was hard to not feel happy with him looking at me the way he did. _

"_Oh yea. Best of friends since day one,_" _I said, giving him a sugar sweet smile, one that he knew was far from real. Laughing when he glared at me. _

"_Oh! Why don_'_t you guys sit with us then,_" _Adrian offered, already pulling a seatout for Tasha._

"_Oh no, we have our own table to go to,_" _Dimitri said, pulling Tasha back. _

"_I_'_m sure they_'_re on their own date, babe,_" _I said at the same time. Adrian conceded and Dimitri and Tasha walked back. _

"_So is he why you never said yes to me? You were hoping he_'_d ask you out?_" _Adrian asked while he pushed my seat in, sounding so calm and indifferent about it. My eyebrows furrowed as I took him in, was he jealous?_

"_Who? Dimitri?_" _I asked, laughing. _"_God no! He_'_s stubborn, keeps to himself, and thinks he_'_s so great. God why would I ever want to date him?_" '_He_'_s also caring, loyal, and loving, my mind countered._

"_So then why are you friends with him?_" _My mouth dropped open, well knowing Adrian would never understand._

"_Because we just are,_" _I said, unable to explain how our friendship has been able to withstand our contradicting personalities. _"_Do you want to go out for some desert?_"

"_Um sure,_" _he said, surprised by my shift in topics. _"_We can go get some ice cream._"

"_Sounds yummy,_" _I said, getting up and grabbing my bag. _

Taking I deep breath, I looked around until I met Lissa's and Dimitri's compassionate eyes,giving me the push I needed to keep going.

"Adrian was a man of his he made a promise, made a commitment, he stuck to it. When we were just starting to get to know one another, he had these vices. He loved to drink and smoke. He didn't care what everyone else thought about it, and he knew I hated it. So what did he do? He made a list of reasons as to why I should date him, and on there was a promise to give it up for me. I, of course, played the doubting Thomas, but true to his word, he gave it up cold turkey. It was a hard struggle, but he did it, and he kept with it for the past three years. Of course he'd have the occasional drink during the holidays, or when he would go grab a drink with a client or a co-worker, but he never had more than one or two drinks. And I loved him for that, for being able to stick to his word and keeping his commitment to me. I've always had a struggle with trusting people, but here comes Adrian with that lopsided smile of his and he just barged through my walls and got me to trust him and fall in love with him."

"In his work he was ruthless, conniving, did anything to get the win. At home he was romantic and did anything to get me to smile. He always did something that surprised me and taught me something new about him. He also knows how to treat a lady, make you feel special and like you were it for him. Maybe because to him you probably were." My eyes stung and I inhaled quickly trying to remain in control.

"I remember the night he introduced to me his parents, shortly after I agreed to be his girlfriend, and how he introduced me as the love of his life. And he told his mother something that always resonated with me. She told him not to exaggerate, but one look at him and she could see he was being honest about what he felt for me, and she asked, 'What is it with you and girls, Adrian? Why do they either mean nothing to you or everything? It's always an extreme.' and his response was because he doesn't do things in halves, especially when it comes to love. Nothing he's said since then has ever made me feel so special. To know that I mean everything to him rather than nothing is something I'll dear to me."

Slowly, I felt the tears well up as the control over my emotions started to slip.

"I'm sorry. I told myself not to make this about my relationship with him, but when Daniella asked me to speak and she said I knew him like no else did, I realized that the Adrian I lived with for the past six months only came out when I was around. I could stand up here and talk about what a great man he was, a hard worker, a dedicated lawyer, a man of many talents, but that would be the biggest lie I've ever said." My words were coming out quickly now, needing everyone to understand what I was saying.

"Adrian only had one talent, and that was the natural intensity he did things with, especially things he loved. Yes, he was a good lawyer who never had a loss, but it was because he always set himself up to win, not because he had a passion for law. He did it because it was the family trademark, because it was what he's father did, what his grandpa did, and it was expected of him. Of course, he rebelled a bit and went into prosecuting the guilty and defended the helpless, and he would only do a case that interested him and he was willing to put his heart and soul into. But that wasn't what he was dedicated to, what he lived for. No, he lived for the arts. He loved all of them, but he had an undying passion for painting." My mind wondered to all the gorgeous pieces of work he had made, a small smile settling on my lips.

"The pieces I'd come home to find were gallery worthy, but that wasn't who he was. He didn't do it for the recognition, for the money or fame, he did it because he loved it and he loved the reaction he could get out people. No matter how crappy your day had been, with a single painting he could get you to smile and forget all the negativity you were holding onto. On the brightest and happiest of days, he could get you to break down crying and grieve for a lost you never had by looking at one of his pieces. Adrian Ivashkov wasn't a great man, he was far from it. But, with all his faults, with all his vices, with all his imperfections, he was remarkable, and we are all lucky to have been given the chance to get to know him. And I'm extremely fortunate for having the honor of stealing his heart, and being his fiancé," I concluded, my control going out the window as realization hit that this was it.

I'd never get to hear his voice again, get to feel another one of his caresses, get to lock gazes with his eyes. Never. The heavy rainclouds engulfing my heart let loose their turbulent storm as I excused myself and ran out the church.

* * *

DPOV

"Excuse me," Rose said into the mic before running off the altar and out of the church. Lissa was the first to get up and when I saw where she was headed, I was on her tail, stopping her once we got into the church lobby.

"Let go, Dimitri," she said, futilely trying to get her arm out of my hand.

"No. I know where you're headed and no." Lissa just did not understand, and she was going to fight me, but she was not going to win.

"I'm just going to the bathroom," she said, giving me a look that would make anyone believe her. But I'm not anyone. I gave her a pointed look, surprised when she didn't back down.

"Fine. Then I'll wait out here and walk back in with you." She kept her stare locked with mine for a few moments before looking away groaning.

"I just want to make sure she's ok." Lissa sounded almost like a child begging me to let her have a cookie, but she was not going to get it.

"Me too, Lissa, but she needs to be alone."

"No she doesn't! She needs someone there for her!"

"Lissa, I know you want to be there for her right now, I do too, but sometimes she really does need to be alone. There's nothing I want to do more than go after and pull her into my arms and take away all her pain, but right now she needs to be by herself. We can give her all the support she needs, but that's not going to get her to move on and live her life. She needs to deal with this however she has to on her own, Lissa."

"But what if her way sends her on a downward spiral that no one can get her out of. SHE COULD THROW EVERYTHING AWAY BECAUSE SHE CAN'T HEAL AND MOVE ON!" I shook my head, that would never happen.

"I won't let her," I growled, letting go of her arm. "Give her time. That speech she gave, it took everything from her to open up like that. I could see how the memories haunted her. If you go to her right now she's going to snap and ruin your friendship, do you want that?"

"No," she admitted, running a hand through her hair. "I just…I hate feeling so helpless. Growing up she was always the one to be there for me and help me, even now she's doing that, and the one time…the _one. time_. it's my turn to help her, and I can't!"

"I know, Lissa. I feel the same way, but if she left it's because she wants to be alone. We have to give at least the rest of the day." I racked my own hand through my hair, getting it tangled furthering my frustration.

"Fine," she said after a while, walking back into the church. Looking at the door, I decided not to go back inside. I didn't belong and I was only there because Rose asked me to come. Plus, I didn't like the looks Adrian's mother gave me. Doing a quick sign of the cross, I walked out to my car, taking the route that passes through Rose and Adrian's apartment, relieved when I saw her car parked at the entrance.

* * *

RPOV

Opening the door to the apartment, I was hit with Adrian's scent, his cologne and the spicy smell of the clove cigarettes he loved so much and managed to only smoke one or two a day. Part of me savored it, tricking myself into thinking he would walk out and greet me at any moment, while the other part of me, the sensible part, wondered how long before the scent left. As I dropped my keys, I remembered one of my favorite memories of coming here.

"_Adrian?_" _I asked as I entered the apartment. My eyes wondering around not finding him._

_We had been dating for six months and I got a text telling me to go to his place and enter using the spare key under his mat. However, when I walked through the door it was like I was in a different apartment. It looked like Adrian_'_s but it smelled like Martha Stewart_'_s. My stomach grumbled at the good food being cooked._

"_In the kitchen,_" _he called out, he sounded distracted so I walked even faster._

_ When I walked around and into the kitchen, I couldn_'_t hold back my laughter. His kitchen was a disaster, but somehow he managed to keep the mess off of him. All his pots were out and used, disarrayed over the stove, cutting boards squeezed wherever they could fit with different vegetables and meat stains on them, and the sink overflowing with other dishes used. Yet somehow, he had a little area of cleanliness where he was assembling dishes. _

"_Need any help?_" _I teased as I rolled off my jacket and placed it on one of the kitchen island stools, and putting my bag on top._

"_Laugh all you want, little doctor, but I_'_ll just have you finish this,_" _he said, laughing at the horror expression on my face. Everyone knew I never belonged in the kitchen. _"_Don_'_t worry I won_'_t make you, but could you grab a couple of glasses and the wine bottle I have in the fridge and set up the table in front of the couch?_"

_Nodding my head, I grabbed the three things and a corkscrew and went to the living room, running back for napkins and utensils before opening the wine. Not that long afterwards, Adrian came in carrying two plates, a brilliant smile full of pride permanently on his face the whole way. Adrian, much like myself, never cooked, so him making dinner meant he had plans for tonight. _

"_Spaghetti and meatballs?_" _I asked when he placed the two plates on the coffee table in front of me._

"_Mhm,_" _he said, sitting down next to me and putting my legs on top of his. _"_And you don_'_t know how hard this was to make._"

_I couldn_'_t help but laugh as I grabbed my plate. I might not be able to cook, but pasta was the easiest thing to make. I didn_'_t say anything as we ate, just enjoying the company and wine. All that mattered was that he had put forth so much effort, and I appreciated it. _

"_You know,_" _I said as he grabbed my empty plate and put it on the table with his. _"_I don_'_t think you_'_ve ever made dinner for me._"

"_I_'_m just full of surprises, little doctor._" _He flashed me his lopsided grin before pulling my leg, bringing me closer to him. _"_Just wait until you see what I have planned for desert._"

_From his dark gaze, I could tell he wasn_'_t talking about food. Biting my lip, I decided I wanted it. We_'_ve been dating for six months, and I think it_'_s about time we took that step. Closing the space between us, I pressed my lips firmly against his, pulling him as close as possible as I laid down on the couch. After a couple minutes, I pulled back._

"_Maybe we should move this to somewhere more comfortable,_" _I said breathlessly, my body tingling with the need for him. His eyes lit up as he scooped me up bridal style and lead me to his bedroom. _

"_I love you,_" _he said while he laid me down, peppering my face and upper body with kisses._

"_I love you too,_" _I said, bringing his face up to mine, undoing his pants in the process. We stayed up until morning showing each other that love._

Having other memories like that one run through my head, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight without some help. Going into the kitchen, I grabbed the biggest glass and the coldest bottle of wine and go to the living room. After pouring myself a full glass, I sit down on the couch and drink half of it, just staring at the black TV screen, my mind running with memories. When I finished the rest, I filled it up again and went to the DVD case to find something to watch. While I looked around, something fell to the ground.

"What the?" I asked out loud as I picked it up. It was a simple DVD inside a sleeve, no case no picture, meaning it was home made. Behind the little window was a note in Adrian's handwriting.

_Roses are red,_

_ But never in blue._

_ Sharp as a thorn,_

_ Fights like one too._

A sob left my lips as I read the poem over and over again. Filling my glass, I popped the DVD in and curled up into the couch, my heart breaking with every second of the video.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for any grammar mistakes :/**

**Any guess where this is headed? I promise that next chapter is the last heartbreaking one with Rose trying to deal with the lost...PINKIE PROMISE!**

**So a quick heads up...since this ff I did different than my other ones and I'm writing as I post (versus writing 10 chapters before even starting a new story) I may or may not have the next chapter for Sunday. Also, I'm heading into finals week so I'll have more time to write, so I just might get ahead to where I don't have to worry too much about finishing in time.**


	6. Coming to Term With Life

**A/N: I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update! I had _the biggest_ writer's block and I just finished it and had it beta'd! I promise the following chapters will come more on schedule. Sorry again!_  
_**

**Oh and thanks for the wonderful reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I might not own any VA characters, but i do own the DVD :)**

* * *

DPOV

"This is your fault!" Lissa said, marching into my office. I hadn't even made it to my seat when she came in.

"For?" I asked, not really in the mood. I liked Lissa, but she was becoming a bit much lately.

I haven't seen Rose since she walked out in the funeral, and I was worried she was overworking herself, but I didn't know what to do. I tried seeing if she was home, but no one ever answered the door, and the doorman said he hasn't seen her since she left for the funeral. Where the hell could she be? I thought of reaching out to her father, but I wasn't sure how much he knew and I didn't want to be the one to tell him about Adrian if he hadn't heard already. And then whenever I locked eyes with Lissa, she just glared at me, so I wasn't too keen asking her anything.

"For Rose!" she said through her clenched teeth. "I haven't heard from her or seen her since she left the church. And you know _why_? Because you didn't let me go after her! God knows where she is or what's she done! She could be dead in her own pool of blood for all we know!"

"She's not you, Vasilisa!" I said before thinking, momentarily hating myself when I saw her face drop before she quickly regained her anger. "Look, I know Rose, she wouldn't do that. She's grieving, but she would never cross that line. If she didn't do when her mom left, she wouldn't do that now. She's strong, and as much as she's hurting, she wouldn't do that to me, to you…to Adrian."

"How do you know?" she snapped, her pale jade eyes blazing with anger. "You've only known her for a fraction of what I've known her for. I'm her best friend, not you. You're just the one that shattered her illusions of love. You don't know her, not like I do. She didn't want to be alone, she wanted one of us to go after her. She wanted a friend to lean on. She wanted her best friend since birth to be with her."

"Are you sure? Then why has she snapped at you every time you tried to reach out and make sure she was ok? Couldn't it have been because she was fed up with constantly being scrutinized like she was some mental patient that just left rehab? If it's true that what she really wanted was someone to comfort her, don't you think she would have reached out by now?"

For all the skepticism I was showing, on the inside I was a raging storm, a thousand different scenarios pouring in my mind, a million questions brewing. Not really wanting to waste more time arguing, I grabbed my coat and made my way to my door.

"What do you think you're doing?" Lissa asked, hot on my trail. She wasn't giving up, and it was angering me even more

"The one thing you haven't done. Actually going to see her." Lissa growled beside me and I knew I hit a nerve.

"You don't think that was the first thing I did? What makes you think she's going to answer to you?"

"Who said anything about waiting for her to answer?" I said, a sly grin on my face as I got into my truck and drove off, leaving Lissa in the parking lot with her jaw dropped.

"Come on, Roza, open the door," I muttered as I knocked for the billionth time, paying no attention to my knuckles that were starting to hurt.

"It's no use," someone said next door. "No one has seen her for days."

Groaning, I banged on the door, my control slipping. "Rose! Open the door!"

When I got no response, I did the first thing that came to mind. Back up, I kicked the door with everything I had, taking satisfaction when it flew open. But that satisfaction left, when my eyes got accustomed to the darkness.

LINE BREAK

Walking in, I had to be careful where I stepped. Looking at the living room and entrance hallway, it looked like a tornado swept through, destroying everyone in its path. The shelves and cupboards looked like they got sick and vomited everything out, leaving behind a lovely scent that could make you drunk if you breathed it in too much. The closer I got to the couch, I noticed that the scent was coming from the many bottles spewed around the foot of it. From the way the wine inside the glass on the coffee table was dried up, I'd bet my truck that she stopped using a glass after the first bottle. The floor was covered in broken glass, ceramic vases and decorative pieces shattered, flowers and pictures caught in the crossfire, and furniture on their sides, lamps hanging off their wires with their shades amiss. No matter how much I tried being quiet, something was constantly crunching under my shoes.

"Roza?" I asked as I walked around the couch. The only response was I got her moaning and turning away from the light. Trying to get a better response, I asked her what happened.

Nothing. Sighing, I took in the room once more, trying to think of some plan of action. First thing, getting Rose to get off the couch and getting her to talk. However, my thoughts quickly got lost when I noticed something on the TV. Looking at it for a few moments, I realized it was a video of different pictures of Adrian and Rose, some small videos woven throughout. Shaking my head, I quickly paused it, freezing a picture of them at Cabo when we went last summer. Why would she watch that? As i made my way to her, my mind once again wondered what caused her to destroy her apartment, but this time trying to figure out if the video had anything to do with it.

"Why?" she said, sounding like a frog and sandpaper probably from endless crying. I sighed and tried to remain calm

"What do you mean why?" I asked as I slightly lifted her and sat down before placing her head on my lap.

She felt so light and fragile, so unlike the Rose I knew and have come to love. As family, of course. And because of that affection, I swore to myself to make sure she got out of this hole and became the Rose from before. When she didn't say anything, I continued with the questions. Asking if she wanted to know why I was here. Or why I stopped the video. Then I asked her why there was shreds of broken glass and ceramic on the floor.

"Stop it," she said, sounding more like a croak with her hoarse voice, when I started asking about the empty bottles.

"Roza, maybe you should change clothes," I began, but she shook her head.

"Just stop it." Her voice was just a little stronger, but it was in anger.

"Maybe you'll be more comfortable." I tried coaxing her softly, but that pissed her off more.

"Stop it! Stop talking. There is nothing to talk about. There is nothing to discuss." Her eyes were wild, and I almost thought I had lost her for a moment.

"Yes there is! How about the fact you disappeared for a few days?" I had been worried to no end, but I didn't do anything because I thought I needed to give her her space. Now I knew it had been a bad idea. Maybe Lissa was right.

"I can't." Her voice telling me just how broken she still is inside.

"Why not?" I asked, tucking back one of her unruly, curly strand of hair.

"Be-be-because I'm bad. I'm a bad girlfriend, a bad doctor, a bad person. I couldn't save him. I tried and failed. And then I couldn't stay at the funeral. I didn't even see them bury him! What kind of girlfriend does that make me? What kind of fiancé? I shouldn't have been at his funeral! It should have been our wedding! I didn't even have time to dream of what our wedding would turn out like."

"That's not true, Rose. You are not a bad person, or a bad doctor, or a bad girlfriend. You did what you could to stop the guy from shooting him," I whispered, hoping she'd believe my words.

"No. I could have stopped him and made him stay. I could have tried talking to the shooter. I could have-"

"You could have nothing," I said, turning her head so she was looking straight at me. I momentarily lost my train of thought when her wide, brown doe eyes locked with mine. "You did everything you could, do you understand me?" Slowly, she nodded her head. "Good. Now you need to take a shower and change out of those clothes."

Scooping my arm under her legs, I stood up and walked to the bathroom, taking slight pleasure in the way she curled into me and wrapped her arms around my neck. It felt so natural, like she should always be there.

LINE BREAK

RPOV

When the door closed, I down the wall, curling into a ball after turning on the hot water, letting my clothes get wet. Slowly, I felt the heat in the water, mixing with my tears as I washed away everything I've let out since the funeral. I cried over Adrian. I cried over how low I let my life get in a matter of days. But most important, I cried for no reason, just to feel the relief afterwards of letting it out. When I ran out tears, my minded started to fight against the sadness looming over me.

I shouldn't let my life stop. I love Adrian, and I'll always remember him, but I can't stop living life to the fullest because he's not here anymore. He wouldn't want that. Actually, he'd be so angry with me. I can't do that to my friends, my family. I need to gain control of my life. But where do I start? Before Adrian, my life was basically bar and hospitals. Even if I never went home with anyone, I always loved going to bars and teasing guys and getting free drinks out of it. Then when Adrian came into the picture, he would take me out to different places and even if I wasn't dating him, I never felt a need to go mess around in a bar. So what do I do now? Go back to my teasing ways? No, I've grown past that.

Looking at the door, I thought of Dimitri. He broke down my door to come make sure I was ok. He's always looking out for me. And then there's Lissa, my best friend, my sister. I'm always the one protecting her, helping her when she needs it, giving her a shoulder to lean on, and when it's her turn to do it, I turn away. I know she wanted to be there, I didn't let her. I need to make things right. I need to let my friends help me move past this. I need to move on.

Shaking off the lingering negativity, I stripped out of my drenched clothes and took a proper shower, determined to start today on the right foot. I'll never forget Adrian, or the pain his absence brings me, but I can't hold back either. Stepping out of the shower, a smile slowly grew on my face. On top of my toilet seat some clothes was laid out. Black yoga pants and a pink off-the-shoulder top. Tucked in between the two were a pair of panties and a bra. Laughing, I wasn't sure if I should be worried that Dimitri raided my drawers, but seeing as they didn't match i'm pretty sure he just grabbed the first thing. Quickly getting dressed, i decided to put my hair up into a bun, my bangs falling out since they weren't long enough.

"You didn't have to do that," I said, leaning against the home theater stand, watching Dimitri sweep up the mess on the floor. Of course, hearing me made him jump.

"Don't do that!" he started to say, but whatever else he had in mind quickly left his mind when I started laughing. All too soon, his frown turned into a smile. "Are you laughing?"

I couldn't respond past a nod of my head as I grabbed a black garbage bag and helped him. Walking around, my smile quickly turned into a grimace. I couldn't believe the mess I created, I couldn't even think of what made me go on such an angry rampage. I didn't even try to stop the sigh that left my lips when I finished filling one bag.

"You were probably drunk." His tone was full of worry, but I could hear slight harshness underneath it.

"What?" I asked, looking up to find Dimitri sitting down and looking at me. For the most part, the living room was cleaned up and thing were put in their place and we had two big bags and one small one tied and at the door.

"This whole mad woman rampage you went on. It probably happened during one of your drunken stupor. But I'm only guessing cus what would I know, not like i'm a doctor or anything," he said, winking when I started laughing.

"Not like you've ever experienced your own drunken night either," I teased, winking back. After a few moments of silence, everything seemed to really hit me. I was alone in this apartment and i had to call Lissa. Sighing again, I wondered if she'd even take my call.

"You need to get out of here," Dimitri said all of the sudden, making me whip my head up to face him. He wasn't even looking at me, but looking outside and squinting at the setting sun. "It's a toxic environment. I don't know what happened in the shower, but i can tell you've made some decision to move on or at least came to terms with life. Either way, you're going to always be reminded of him. I think you should move out, get your own apartment."

"I can't," I said, sitting down on the couch.

"Why not? I highly doubt you can afford this loft, and it's not like you have something tying you down. You can leave tonight, take a bag with you and stay at my apartment and then we can move your things tomorrow and start finding you your own place."

"Not that it's any of your business, but I don't have to afford this. Nathan owns this complex, and while Adrian and I payed rent because Nathan's an ass, Daniella paid the left over mortgage so I'm the legal owner of this loft. I can't just leave because you think I can't handle this. I can so handle this!"

"Really? That bag full of empty bottles tells me otherwise." He gave me a pointed look and crossed his arm.

"OK that was because of the stupid video. I mean I've been here two weeks and I never knew it existed! And then I find it the night of the stupid funeral! I was in a bad place and I just lost it, ok? It won't' happen again!"

"Remember how many times I told you that after I broke up with Tasha? And how many times did I go back? Rose, you're leaving. Now you can do you willingly, or forcefully." Dimitri wasn't messing around. When he took a step closer, I leaned back.

"You wouldn't dare," I said, slitting my eyes.

"Try me."

"Dimitri, I can't just leave! Not when it's paid for and not when I don't want to. And if you come near me I'll hurt you where the sun don't shine and you'll never get your big family."

"Roza please listen to me. You need to get out of here, at least until you're better and we know you won't fall back down again. Look when you're stable-"

"Stable?! What's that suppose to mean?" The anger was returned and I hated to be angry with Dimitri, but he was really pushing the wrong buttons.

"This! You drinking your life away, blowing up over anything that doesn't go your way. Rose that fire you have inside is going from flaring up uncontrollably to burning out and that's not good. Look, just listen. Move out for some time, Daniella doesn't have to know, and we can make this your place. Paint the walls, add some artwork, change the decoration and furniture. What you save in rent can be used to remodel. In the meantime, I have a spare bed in my place you can use."

"I uh I don't know. It's just…I've finally come to terms with things, and now you want to move?"

"Yes."

"No."

"_Yes,_" he said, his voice telling me this wasn't up for debate. We'll just see about that.

"_No,_" I said, locking eyes with him. We stared each other down before my resolve fell.

"FINE! One week! Ok? One week and then I move back, no matter if I remodel it or not."

"That's fine, Roza," he said, beaming as he slug his arm around my should and walked me out.

"Wait what about my luggage?" I looked around worried but he just smiled, pulling me closer to him

"Already packed and in my car." Shaking my head, I walked with him to his car. i guess I never had a choice in the matter.

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**A/N: How bout it? Ready to see more Rose and Dimitri? Who wants to see what Rose's loft turns into?**

**Leave me a review and tell me what you think :) also! If anyone has any good ideas for Rose's remodelling, let me know :)**


	7. A Rude Awakening

**Thanks for all the reviews, and sorry I've been bad at updating, it's hard writing as I go, but I'm getting better at it :) for now tho I might post every other week just so I can get ahead enough. Thanks for sticking through tho!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any VA characters**

* * *

5 months later

_Beep. Beep. Beep. _

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

"Hathaway," I groaned into my phone, not lifting my head off the pillow. I was too tired and my head was too heavy

"Dr. Hathaway? One of your patient is here." The voice sounded just as tired and if I wasn't mistaken, annoyed.

"It's -" Looking at the my phone, my eyes bugged out. "It's 3 am! Is she in labor?"

"I know doctor, and her contractions are five minutes apart and her cervix is dilated to 5 cm. She's in active labor. I don't how long before she's in the final stage, but if you want to deliver this baby, I suggest you get in the car now."

"Shit. Who is it?" Scrambling out of the bed, I quickly put on my jeans from last night and scrounged through my hamper of clothes I just got from the dryer and put on a basic black t-shirt, throwing on a zip-up hoodie and slipping on the first shoes I found. … The heels I wore last night.

"Um a Sonya Belikova."

"Shiiiit," I growled as I slid open the bedroom door. "I'll be right there." Trotting over to the couch, I roughly shook the big lump of a man sleeping there. "Come on, Comrade, your sister's in labor. We need to go."

"What?" he groggily asked, rubbing his eyes, quickly becoming alert to the situation.

"Sonya's at the hospital and in labor." I grabbed his shirt and jacket while he sleepily slipped on his jeans. "I don't know how quick she's dilating but we need to get there now."

Tossing him his shoes by the door, I tapped my foot impatiently while he fumbled out the door.

"Can we grab some coffee?" Slowly but surely the sleep was leaving his body, but even he had his limits and running on 3 hours of sleep after a long shift was taking a toll on him. I couldn't help but smile at him, he sounded more like me than himself.

"Nope," I said, popping my 'p' as I got into the driver's seat and hastily left the parking garage.

This was the worst part of pregnancies. The mother's went into labor at the most unexpected times, and the contractions can last hours before they're at the point of giving birth. Sonya wasn't due for another month! Worst, I told her to call me when her water broke because I would help her with getting to the hospital. Did she call? No. She's probably been waiting for hours to get attended to, and by that time she's almost at the final stage. Pressing on the gas, I sped down the busy LA street.

I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard a deep rumbling, sounding almost like laughter. Quickly glancing to my side, I saw Dimitri was reclined back, arm over his eyes, laughing. His face looked so relaxed. He looked like the 23 year old med student I couldn't stand to be around but couldn't go a day without seeing rather than the 34 year old doctor that gave up his bed so I could stay there while he's been sleeping on the couch for the past five months.

"What's so funny?" I asked, pulling myself out of my own thoughts before they went down a path I could never return from.

"You, Roza. I can't believe out of the vast collection of shoes you have, you picked heels." He looked down under the steering wheel and burst out laughing again.

"I was in a rush! I grabbed the first shoes I found." It also seemed like the only pair of shoes at my place, which was crazy cause I knew I had a closet full of them.

"And they just so happened to be what you wore to dinner last night? I could believe that if you had on the slippers that are under you bed." I rolled my eyes and zipped past another corner.

"Shut up, at least none of my clothes is on backwards and my hair looks presentable."

Quickly smothering down his hair, he stuck his tongue out at me. He looked down at his shirt and groaned. Stripping out of his shirt and turning it right side out, he shook his head at his mistake but then smiled looking at my shoes again.

"I'm not about to deliver a baby in 6 inch stiletto heels." Glaring at him from my peripheral vision, I pushed on the gas and then let go, a small laughter coming out as he whiplashed forward and back.

"You're just jealous you can't pull these off like I can. Or go down in history for being able to do such a thing." I was rather proud that I knew I could do it. Even though in high school I couldn't stand heels, now they were like second feet to me. No pain, no gain, right?

"Just park, Roza." Now it was my turn to stick my tongue out before swerving into the first available parking spot. Briskly turning the car off and grabbing the keys, I didn't pay any more attention as I dashed inside, taking the stairs up to the maternity ward.

"Rose, what are you doing here? Didn't you and Dimitri just leave?" Lissa asked, momentarily halting me. Nodding my head, I hugged her in greeting before explaining the call.

Understanding, Lissa looked in the system for Sonya's room. Things after Adrian's funeral were a bit strained because she felt like I was pushing her away and replacing her. Even though after I moved into Dimitri's apartment we quickly made up, I could tell she was keeping her distance in case I relapsed and started withdrawing again. It hurt to see her like this, but I was still healing and sometimes it seemed as it the wounds were reopening.

"_Ok, I have ice cream, chips, soda, water…lots of water, Chris thought I was training for a marathon or something. Also, I got candy, snacks, easy microwave food. No alcohol though," Lissa said, barging into Dimitri's cozy apartment. I hadn't even unpacked my luggage when she came in. Giving Dimitri a confused look, he shrugged his shoulder before retreating to his room._

_Bastard._

_Through Lissa's rambling of making everything was accessible and as comfortable as possible for me (which was a hard task since I was going to be sleeping on a sofa bed), I could feel the tension in the air. I didn't know how to address, and honestly I didn't know what to apologize for. I knew I did something wrong, actually a whole lot of somethings, but I didn't know which hurt her most and I didn't know what to say. After a few deep breathes, I decided to just nip this elephant in the butt._

"_Lissa.."_

"_And if you want, I can convince Christian to let you move in, that way you don't have to be uncomfortable."_

"_Lissa…" I tried again, but she wasn't hearing me._

"_It can be like before. We can have movie nights and binging weekends." She smiled as she started to pull out what she had brought._

"_Lissa!" I said more affirmatively, pulling her down on my bed. "I'm sorry."__She didn't say anything, just gave me a blank look, waiting for whatever else I had to say._

"_I'm sorry I didn't let you in. I'm sorry I didn't even let you know I was ok. Most of all, I'm sorry I pushed away. It's just after losing Adrian, I couldn't allow myself to be close to anyone. I was scared I'd lose you, too. And, Liss, if that happened, I don't know what I'd do. You;re like my sister, hell you're the only real family I have. I'm ready to move on, to learn to live life without him, and I'd really like it if you were there with me, helping me every step of the way."_

"_You sure you don't want Dimitri at your side?" she snapped, her usually pleasant voice dark and masked in an emotion I've never seen on her. She was jealous. I almost laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation. What could she be jealous of? _

_Seeing the way her jade green eyes were full of pain, and her rosy lips were in a firm straight line, I knew she was honestly envious of someone…of Dimitri. Reaching out and grabbing her hand, I waited until her face started to soften._

"_Lissa Dragomir, are you _jealous_ of Dimitri?" Any other time it would have been comical, but I knew she need the assurance._

"_Yes," she said, her lips pouting. "Rose you pushed me away, but you let him in. I've been your friend since forever, and you just met him in medical school. I feel like you picked him over me. Plus after what he did to you your first year, I just thought it was my shoulder you'd lean on."_

"_Ok first of all, Lissa, I didn't let him in. He quite literally broke into my home and then all but kidnapped me here, so I wouldn't really say I picked him over you."_

"_I CAN HEAR YOU!" Dimitri shouted, making me laugh, which made Lissa laugh. I was tempted to stick my tongue out but I knew he couldn't see me, so instead I shouted that just because he could see doesn't mean he should._

"_See what I mean? I could never replace you, silly. It's just…I'm so used being the one you lean on, I didn't know how to let you support me. After your parents died, I was at your side, promising that from then on it would just be us against the world. When Aaron dumped you, I was cuddled next to you in bed, swearing off men with you. You're more than just my best friend, Lissa, you're my sister. With everything that happened with Dimitri, he's nothing more than my best guy friend. And remember our motto, sisters before misters, right?" _

_She nodded her head, apologizing for being foolish and jealous. Laughing, she commented on how ridiculous she was being, almost on the same level as Christian._

"_Speaking of Sparky, you have nothing to apologize over. Remember how I got when you started dating him? I think we can call it even." Pulling her into a hug, I kept apologizing for pushing her away. "I could never replace you, not even when I'm mad at you. Blood sisters?"_

_I offered my pinkie out, smiling when she laughed and locked her pinkie with mine._

"_Blood sisters."_

It took her a while, but after affirming I was on the track to become the same Rose from before, she got closer and now it was like it never happened. Honestly, though, I think that little hiccup did our friendship some good and made it even stronger.

"She's in the room at the end of the hall." I gave her a quick smile before walking away, but I didn't get far before she called me back. "The whole family's there. And you look nice."

Glaring at her, I stormed off, leaving her laughing behind at the counter.

* * *

"OK!" I shouted, getting everyone's attention. i saw Sonya sigh in relief when she saw me, Kal giving me a smile of gratitude. "I need everyone under 18 lined up at the door." When the three kids lined up in front of me, I waited until everyone looked at me. "Next, I need all sisters and mothers outside with these kids." This, of course, brought on a howling of protest.

"Roza, we have to be here when this baby be born."

"I understand that, Olena, I really do, but when it comes time to deliver this baby, it's going to be filled with nurses. Having you guys in here is going to break so many regulations. It can put the baby at risk if my team can't move around freely." I was trying to reason with her, and I could see how overwhelmed Sonya already was, it was written all over her face.

Begrudgingly, the three ladies left with the kids. I keep waiting for the patient that wouldn't believe that little fib.

"Wait," Viktoria said, Dimitri's baby sister and one of my close friends. Unlike Lissa and I, she made a living running boutique store and salon downtown. "How come Dimka gets to stay?"

"I'm a doctor, you're not," he said, grinning at her as he walked up behind me. It was funny to see the two go at it, they were truly brother and sister.

Before she could argue, Sonya started screaming bloody murder, making Viktoria quickly leave the room. The contraction went on for a minute before Sonya relaxed into the pillow, out of breath.

"Thank you, Roza," Sonya said, taking a deep breath. When I saw her last, she told me she just wanted Kal at her side.

"Anytime," I said, giving her a sincere smile. "You won't believe how many times I've had patients that don't know how to kick their family out. I'm just surprised they believe me."

Sometimes, it's a nice break for the moms to think about something else. However, it doesn't last long in this stage since the contractions happen every 3 or 5 minutes. So all too soon, another contraction hit her, this time lasting longer than a minute.

"Kal, I need you to massage her abdomen and lower back. Sonya, how did that one feel?" She looked at me as if the question was stupid, which it probably was.

"Like hell," she muttered.

"Did it hurt more than the last one?"

"A bit."

"On a scale of one to ten, one being just the same and ten being a lot."

She thought for a moment, her face crunching up. "A six."

"Ok, well this might take a while, so I just want you to be comfortable. Drinks lots of water, walk around for a bit, watch some TV. I'll come back in an hour to see how much you've dilated. Sound good?"

"Mhm," she said, nodding her head while she took deep breathes. Measuring her cervix one last time, I jotted down a few things on her chart before making sure everything was running properly and then leaving.

* * *

"Oh thank you thank you!" I gushed to Lissa when she handed Dimitri and I a cup of coffee.

"Thank Chris and his late night shifts," she said, laughing as I took a big gulp, already feeling my body wake up. I hated how much I depended on this stuff, but it was a god send.

"Never in a million years," I said before plopping into the seat next to Lissa's. As I took another sip of the coffee, I felt the weight of the silence hanging over me. Giving Lissa a side glance, I saw her shift in her seat and take a deep breath before turning towards me.

"How's the remodeling going?" She was starting off with a neutral topic, which meant she was going for something hard.

"Good," I drew out, knowing that wasn't what she wanted to talk about. "I couldn't bear to change everything, so the interior designer my dad sent and I found a way to incorporate the parts of the apartment I liked with what I wanted, and have some memories of Adrian." She nodded, seeming a little more relaxed.

"Oh that's nice. Are you going to move back in soon?"

"Yea," I said, my voice not holding the enthusiasm that was expected. "Everything should be done by the end of the week."

"Well don't reign in your enthusiasm on my account," she replied sarcastically, laughing when I shot daggers at her.

"Sorry, it's just hard. I've never lived on my own. In college, we lived in dorms. After graduating, we lived together. We lived together until I moved in with Adrian. Even after he passed, I immediately moved into Dimitri's apartment and hijacked his bed. And now I'm about to move into a big apartment by myself."

"Is that why you've been pushing it off? Because I'm pretty sure with your work schedule, you could have moved back in while they finished up."

"I guess. I just don't know what I'm going to do. It's going to be so quiet and no one's going to be waiting for me, or I won't have anyone to expect."

"Then get a puppy. I think Teresa was just saying earlier today that her dog had puppies. I can see if she'd be willing to give you one."

I gave her a small smile, nodding my head. "Liss, what's really on your mind?"

"I just…if you're tired living with Dimitri, you can always stay with me." A sparkle lit up her eyes, and I immediately knew even though she didn't say it, she was still slightly jealous.

"Lissa we've gone through this. I don't want to impose on you and Sparky. Look I'll be fine." I placed my hand over hers and gave her a gentle squeeze, hoping it'd reassure her.

"Are you sure? Are you forgetting what happened the four days you did live by yourself?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked even though I knew where this was going. I pulled my hand away.

"I'm talking about the four days you spent drunk and curled up on your couch." She looked at me, a well written fear in those jake green eyes.

"Seriously, Lissa? It's been 5 months! When are you going to let that go!" I sprang out of my chair, slightly leaning over as I looked at her.

"When I can trust you again!" she snapped, immediately covering her mouth, eyes wide. "Rose that's not what I meant. I me-"

"Save it," I said, waving her off as I left the station.

"Wait." She grabbed my wrist, quickly letting go when I pulled away. "It's not that I don't trust you. It's like you said. You've never been alone. And the one time you were, your life spiraled out of control, and I don't get how. I don't get how the funeral, how your eulogy, could have been so unbearable you hid yourself in your loft, seeking refuge in a bottle. I can't wrap my mind around it. You're the strongest person I know, and I know Adrian's death hit you hard, but I didn't expect it to be that bad."

"It wasn't the funeral," I admitted, sagging my shoulders. "When I got home, yes I was in a bad place. I was in a lot of pain, and all I wanted was for Adrian to walk in and wrap in his arms and tell me it's all ok. Know what I got instead? A DVD he made and I think he was going to show it when we got home after proposing. It was a collection of the pictures and videos we had. If I would have seen it any other day, I would have been fine. I would have shed a few tears, had a few glasses, and it might have even healed my heart a bit because even though he's gone I had that to always remember him, to hear his voice, see his eyes. But that night, it broke me, Lissa, and I didn't know how to pull myself together. And I'm sorry I didn't go to you for help. I'm sorry I didn't let you in. But think about how embarrassed I was about needing you to support me."

"You weren't too embarrassed to lean on Dimitri. I mean you've over exceeded you're welcome don't you think?"

"I don't care what he thinks! He's just a friend, you're like family! You know what, just forget. I can't talk to you anymore without having it end in a fight."

"Rose, that's not true," she said, her voice dejected and tired. That makes two of us.

"I have a patient to attend to," I said, walking away.

"Do you -" Dimitri began to say, quickly walking into step with me, before I raised my hand to stop him.

"I'm tired, I'm in heels, and I have a baby to deliver. So can we please keep this professional?"

"Fine," he gruffed, opening the door to his sister's room, a scream coming from inside.

* * *

Looking at my watch, I calculated that he contraction was earlier than expected. I wasn't gone an hour, but it was still sooner than the 5 minute interval.

"Sonya, exactly how long did it take you to get to the hospital after your water broke?" I asked after she told how bad this contraction was and I looked at her vitals.

"How the fuck should I know?" She gritted through her teeth.

"A couple hours," Kal said quickly as he tried calming her down. "It took a while for everyone to come and then the wait for us to get a room." Before I could say anything, Sonya let out another scream, this one louder than the last, holding onto Kal with everything she had.

"Well, that explains why the contractions are coming faster and stronger," I said, going to the end of the bed and lifting the skirt of her hospital gown. "Your cervix is dilated to 9 cm already, and you're contractions seem to be lasting more than a minute with a minute rest, so you're almost at the point of delivering. However, this could last anywhere from 30 minutes to two hours, so I need you to be really attentive and let me know when you feel an urge to push ok?"

Keeping her mouth closed, Sonya nodded her head. Instead of going back out, I asked Dimitri to go get he nurses that would help with this delivery while I stayed and kept track of her contractions, all the while reminding Sonya to take deep breaths and telling Kal it helps to say encouraging words.

It didn't take long for her to dilate completely and to begin feeling an urge to push. Luckily, Dimitri and my team were there and we were prepped to do this delivery.

"Ok Sonya, it's time. Look at me. I need you to remember to breathe and do what comes naturally. And when you feel the need to push, give all you've got. Chin to your chest, and go as hard as you can, ok?" I said, scooting my seat right at her entry, getting ready for this baby to come out.

Nodding her head, she adjusted her hold on Kal and Dimitri's hand, taking a deep breath. Seeing the way her hands began to tighten, I knew it was time to push. Gritting her teeth together, she pushed as hard as she could, groaning as she put all her strength into it.

"That's great, Sonya. You're doing great. A little harder. Good. I see he head coming out. Good now relax," I coaxed, softly cradling the baby's head.

"You're doing great, honey," Kal said, stroking her sweaty hair matted to her forehead and brushing it aside. "We're almost there. Just another push."

"Exactly. One more push, Sonya. I know you have it in. Just give me what you have," I said. I hadn't finished my sentence before she started pushing, the rest of the baby's head coming through and an ear piecing scream filling the room. "It's a boy!"

Quickly I secured the baby in my arms as i suctioned out any mucus from his nose and mouth. When I finished, I placed the baby in Sonya's hands, handing Kal a pair of scissors.

"Would you like to do the honors, dad?" I asked him. Without a moment's hesitation, he nodded his head and took the scissors, cutting off the umbilical cord where I pointed at. "Now if you don't mind, we just need to give the baby a quick rubdown and make sure everything's ok."

With a little resistance, Sonya finally handed me back the back, which I handed off to one of the nurses before finishing the moment and delivering her placenta. Once that was all done and I made sure ll tears were stitched up, I let the nurse hand the baby back to Sonya.

"Do you want me to let your family know?" I asked while I got out of my bloody stubs, the materialistic part of me taking joy in the fact that my heels didn't get any damage done to them.

"If you would please," Kal offhandedly said, his whole attention on the bundle of joy in his wife's arms. Nodding my head to no one in particular, I grabbed Dimitri's hand and walked outside to deliver the news.

* * *

"Knock Knock," I whispered as I opened the door and came in. No one really responded,just Olena with a slow nod. Sonya and Kal were asleep on the bed, holding their son. Viktoria and Karo were on the couch, asleep and cuddling with the children. Olena was knitting on the seat and Dimitri was leaning against the wall. Tiptoeing over to the bed, I saw baby was awake, his dark grey eyes wide open and pinned on me. Carefully, I transferred him into my arms, gently rocking him to sleep

"So what's his name?" I murmured to Olena as I walked over to her.

"Alexi Lev Maslany," she whispered, not taking her eyes off what she was doing.

"Well, Alexi, I think your parents need a break." I smiled at the newborn, knowing he probably couldn't see my face, just a blurred outline of me. "Let's get you back to the nursery." When I got to the door, I shifted Alexi to one arm to open the door, but someone beat me to it.

"It doesn't hurt to ask for help," Dimitri teased as he held the door for him.

"It's not hard to carry a baby and open the door, dummy." He didn't say anything, just gave a small chuckle before falling into step with me.

Of course, I didn't pay him much attention, my focus on the little angel in my arms. Rocking him to sleep, I wondered how life would be like if I ever had a kid. Looking at Alexi, I could see his grey eyes turning greener, and the few strands of hair on his head multiplying and a darker shade of first two months after the incident, I preyed my period didn't come, or anytime I got sick or a wave a nausea I bought a pregnancy test. And every time I got my period and a negative result. After the third month, I gave up on any hopes of being pregnant, instead diving myself into my job and taking personal pleasure with every baby I delivered, even Tasha's poor baby.

"You'll have your own one day," Dimitri whispered into my ear, bringing me out of my thoughts.

I couldn't stop the snort that came out. "I need a man first."

"No one's stopping you. Just yourself." From the corner of my eye, I saw Dimitri's brown eyes take me in before he looked away almost embarrassed.

"So you'd be perfectly fine if I started shacking up with whatever random guy I pick up in your bed?" I turned my head to look at him, seeing the look of disgust on his face. A light laugh filled the hallway as I kissed his cheek, immediately getting rid of the facial expression. "Thought so."

"Why does it have to some random guy you pick up?" He asked, his voice a mix between grumbling and whining. Feeling his arms pull me closer to him, I noticed how close we were.

"Dimitri…" I said, about to tell him to give me some space, but I lost all thought when I saw him looking at way he looked at me threw me off. There was an emotion radiating out of his eyes, an emotion I couldn't name. _Couldn't,_ my mind scoffed. _More like in denial of._

"Roza…" he whispered, his head leaning towards mine, his eyelids slowly dropping. Weirdly enough, I realized I was doing the same thing, and I couldn't find the logic or strength to stop myself. Eyes closed, I could feel his lips a breath away from mine, so close but so far away.

And then he cried.

Full on, high-pitched crying. Breaking away, I remembered I was holding Alexi, who's face was currently tomato red as he vied for attention. Immediately trying to do damage control, I walked out of Dimitri's arms while I swayed my arms, trying to calm Alexi down and get him back to sleep. Thankfully, by the time I made it to the nursery, he had stopped crying and his eyelids were starting to drop. After making sure he was placed in his plastic crib, I left to the parking lot.

"Roza. Roza. Rose!" Dimitri called out, chasing me to the car.

"Not right now, Dimitri," I said over my shoulder, unlocking my car.

"Rose can we talk about what happened?" Dimitri tried to maneuver around me, but I wasn't having it.

"Nothing happened." I opened my door and turned around to face. "Nothing. We're tired and not thinking straight. And it won't happen again." I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince him or myself, but I kept repeating it in my head.

"Bullshit. You were about to kiss me. And if Alexi hadn't woken up, you would have. Would you have denied it if it happened?"

"Yes. And thankfully, Alexi did wake up and reminded me where we were, who we are. Whatever was about to happen can't happen. Ever."

"Why not?" he demanded, his voice hard and angry.

"_Why not?_ Are you stupid or do you just act stupid? God Dimitri! Everything was going great and you just had to fucking ruin it all!" I felt like screaming. Did what he did to me in medical school not mean anything? Of course not. That's why I ended up with a broken heart and he got a girlfriend.

"Ruin it all? Denying what I feel for you is ruining everything." Scoffing at what he said, I rolled my eyes. Now he has feelings. "Do you know how hard it is to live in the same room as you and act like it's all ok and we're just friends."

"First of all, we are just friends, you overgrown assbutt! And secondly, let me make life easier then. I'm moving out." I got in the car and slammed my door for dramatic measure.

"Rose that's not what I meant!" I heard him say on the other side. Not dignifying him with a response, I started my car and drove off, my name becoming fainter by the second until all I head was the car's engine.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry if I had any grammar mistakes or left out any words. Also, sorry if delivery scene was graphic (I don't think it was but idk where ppl cross the line.)**

**How about that cute Romitri scene? :) If only baby Alexi hadn't woken up, right? Leave me a review and tell me what's going to happen next. **

**I hate this, but I might be able to update sooner if I get enough reviews :)**


	8. It's Just Lunch, Comrade

**A/N: I feel like you guys deserve a midnight update after I took forever to post the last chapter :)**

**To the Guest reviewer: yes Dimitri and Rose are going to together (spoiler? I don't think so since all my stories are Romitri)…but it will take a little while for two reason. 1. I have cute Romitri moments that will build up and 2. I have this slight problem where I lik big events to happen on big numbers (like 5's and 10's). I'm planning on a memorial for Adrian to mark a year in the story so that might come with some major milestones for Rose romantically. But I'm not going to draw this out like SUUUUPER LONG (btw I hav a bad perception of how long super long is - check out _High School's a Bitch_ to see what I'm talking about)**

**Sorry for what was meant to be a short response hehe either way back to the story!**

**A big thank you to my beta! And a thank you for all the great reviews! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the VA characters!**

* * *

"Do you know it's 5 in the frigging morning you sleep hater," I heard Lissa say from the other side of the door. When she opened the door, her eyes widened and her lips curved into an 'o'.

"Hey Liss," I drew out, waiting to see how she'd react. Probably remembering our fight from earlier, she crossed her arms across her chest and raised one of her eyebrows. Taking a deep breath, I recited the apology I thought of on the drive here.

"I'm sorry," I said, feeling like I was in kindergarten and the teacher was forcing me to apologize. "I didn't mean to get mad and I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

"Uh huh," she said, trying to keep a straight face but I could tell from the twinkle in her eyes that she was laughing on the inside. Glaring at her, I gave a growl before continuing, realizing she was going to make me say it out loud.

"I don't like talking about my impromptu staycation. But you're right. I over exceeded my welcome at Dimitri's. I'm ready to move out, but not ready to move into the apartment. So I was hoping that you offer still stood and I could crash here for a few days." I was slightly lying, but then again I was hoping to convince myself this was the whole truth.

"I dunno," she drew out in a sing-song voice. "What can I offer that Dimitri can't give you?"

"Lissa! Pleeeeaase. I already packed and shit. And your place isn't exactly on the way to mine." I couldn't help the slight panic that seeped into my words.

"Geez with that attitude I don't know how I can say no," she said dryly, laughing when I growled at her. Breaking into a smile, she pulled me into a hug and closed the door behind us. "Of course you can stay!"

"Thanks," I said as I dragged my bag to my room, trotting in the heels I had yet to change out of. "I won't be here more than a week. The contractor said they were doing a few last minute things and touch ups and then they'd be done."

"Rose, you can stay as long as you want." Giving a small smile, I thanked her again before going into my old room. I didn't get far when she said, "On one condition."

I knew she wasn't going to make this easy. Popping my head out, I waited to hear what I was going to have to do. I was ready for anything, well maybe not cooking, but I would sure as hell try.

"Tell me why you decided to move out."

Anything but that. She stood tall in her stance and took in everything about me, her jade eyes no doubt catching everything.

Getting lost in thought, I remembered how close he was, how my perception was limited to him, how I was wrapped up in his arms and that familiar aftershave smell surrounded all my senses, how close our lips were, how close I wanted them to be...

Shaking it off, I bit my lip, wondering if I should come up with an excuse or tell her the truth. Even if the truth scared the living day lights out of me, she was my best friend and if anyone could help me sort out what happened and what it meant, it'd be her. But did I really want to psychoanalysis tonight, and quite possibly these last five months?

Looking at her, I saw that familiar sparkle her eyes got when there was juicy gossip in the wind. She was probably thinking I had come across his secret porn stash, or discovered he had some weird body deformity like a sixth toe. _If only, Lissa, if only_, I thought To me the truth was somehow worse.

Sighing, I looked her straight in the eye and said, "We almost kissed." And shut the door, but not before catching her jaw drop and eyes pop out of their socket.

* * *

"Hey, Liss, do I have any appointments this morning?" I asked, trying to act as normal as possible.

"You know, Rose, I'm not your secretary," she grumbled as I walked by her, a small chuckle coming out. "And no you don't have anything until after lunch."

"Great. Then when you go on your lunch break, let me know and we can go out to eat." She raised an eyebrow, knowing me well enough to know there's a reason. "I may need your help planning a homecoming party."

As soon as the words left my lips, my ears were filled with her squealing, causing all of the patients in the waiting area to look at us like we were weirdos. God, I should have known she would freak out over something like this.

"Shh!" I muttered, glaring at her until she calmed down. "It's just a small party. Like less than 20 people."

"That's fine. I have ideas forming in my head." She pulled out a notebook and starting jotting things down. Shaking my head, I walked to my office. She was unbelievable.

Having no appointments, I decided now would be a great time to work on a report I had to do for my research. Plugging in my headphones and blocking out my surroundings with my music, I looked at the data I had transferred to my desktop and began writing. As much as I hate doing paperwork, the feeling was oddly comforting and I was happy to be back on the grind.

A year ago, I realized that some babies were allergic to the formula the hospital used, while others didn't get all the nutrients. While their mother's breast milk was the best for them, sometimes their mothers didn't want to breast feed or simply couldn't. So I decided to run test on these babies, their mother's milk and lymph nodes, and see what the hospital formula had. Then I tried creating a different one that fixed all these issues. It took a while and I had to hand it off to the research interns to make things work, but after months of hard work, I finally got it right and so far all our newborns were responding to the formula just how I hoped for.

Although this was just a test run, Alberta, my mentor from when I was a resident, told me I should publish a report so someone could do a full blown project with it. At first, I was a bit resistant, but now that I have the results, I really want someone to do this. Hell I wanted to this, but I don't have the lab or resources to do it. But it wasn't going to stop me, I was determined to make something of this.

"Interesting experiment," someone said into my ear, a thick Russian accent permeating through my music and shattering my bubble. Jumping, I pushed my chair away from the person, my headphone pulled away in the process, only to see Dimitri calmly lean back and give me a smile.

"You know people knock before entering. And if they don't answer, it usually means don't come in," I said as I got up from my chair and approached him, casually leaning so my hip rested against my desk as I crossed my arms over chest. Maybe this was the best way to deal with all this.

"Or it means they're not there, in which I merely let myself in to wait comfortably until they return. Either way, it's not my fault you didn't notice me enter and then wave in front of your face and say your name a millions times." Dimitri smiled at me, which further peeved me.

"And it's not my fault I have really good noise canceling earphones and you know I get tunnel vision when I work. Hey! Don't read it!" I pushed him away and blocked his view of my writing.

Letting out a small laugh, he apologized before going back to the other side of my desk and sitting in one of the chairs.

"Not to be rude or anything, but is there a reason for coming here? Or have you missed seeing my beautiful face everyday?" I joked as I sat back in my chair. Casual seemed to be the only way I could act around him.

"Isn't that reason enough?" he responded, leaning over and giving me a look that ran a chill down my spine, a good hot chill of something I was scared to say was anything close to pleasure.

"No it's not. I'm working. You're working. So unless you have something important to talk to me about, I am very nicely asking you to not let the door hit you on your way out." His smile grew larger and I nearly choked.

"Well we do have something important to talk about. Like what happened the night my nephew was born." God I should have known he wasn't going to drop it.

"Don't you mean morning?" I said dryly, sighing when his soft brown eyes hardened, setting a very unnerving glare my way. "Sorry," I muttered before sighing and letting him continue.

"I'm sorry," he started off with, his apology sounding sincere. "I shouldn't have tried to kiss you and I'll never do it again … unless I have your verbal consent."

"Exactly!" I said triumphantly. But that victory was short lived when I heard the last part. "What no! No verbal consent."

"Ok," he said, getting up and approaching me, but I pushed him off. Of course that didn't work out because he's a Russian giant and I'm 5'3". Plus he works out and the most I've done is a self defense class and running. Safe to say, my arms were no match and before long I was in his arms pushing his face away while his lips were puckered up and making kissing sounds.

"DIMITRI! STOOOP!" I shouted, giggling the whole time, when all of the sudden he stopped and I fell back into the chair breatheless.

"Ok," he said, once again going back to his seat. "Now do you see how helpful it is to be vocal. You can't go around sending me mixed signals and expecting me to read your mind."

"So now it's my fault you leaned in to kiss me?"

"No, but you leaned it too. All I'm saying is I promise not to do anything unless you're ok with it." Dimitri's eyes travelled over me, and I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. I also wanted know why he tried kissing me to begin with.

Sealing my lips together, I took a good look at him, trying to find anything to indicate he had an ulterior motive for this. I've known him for ten years and I knew he said true to his word and he would never push himself on me or any women. But I also knew that the kiss was a heat of the moment thing and there was no premeditated explanation for it. I mean how do you suddenly have feelings for someone you didn't have any for before? The simple answer is you don't.

Waving my hands in a dismissive matter, I told him it was a thing in the past.

"I'm sorry for getting into a fight. You're right. I leaned in too and I shouldn't have. I'm not in a place to lean into any kisses, much less one with my roommate."

"Why not? You're beautiful, funny, smart, and loyal to anyone you care about. Not to mention you have your life made, with a career and brain no one can take from you. You're great with kids and you'll be a great mother someday and a great wife with a man lucky enough to be your husband. Why are you so against finding that person?" His chocolate brown eyes sparkled as he took me in again.

"Gee maybe because I found him already."

"Well then where is he?"

"LA National Cemetery."

"Rose…" Dimitri sat back and shook his head at mea, as if he was truly upset with my answer.

"Don't start. It's only been a few months."

"He was your boyfriend, Rose. Your boyfriend. I've seen you with guys longer than that and you dropped them like flies and moved on like nothing." I sighed, not getting how he could be so quick to criticize. If memory serves me right, what he had with Tasha was as intense, if not more, than what I had with Adrian, and he wasn't so quick to get back to dating, but I wasn't going to say that because that would just be a low blow and could end in a bigger fight. I thought if anyone understood me it was him.

"He was my fiancé and I honestly loved him. I can't just move on like what we had didn't mean anything to me. I have to give myself the right grieving period."

"So you're done with love? No boyfriends, no hook ups. Nothing?" Dimitri looked at me as if I was crazy.

"I'm not going into a convent. I just want to give myself time, at least until his memorial service. This isn't just about coming to terms with Adrian's death or anything like that. This is about me. For two years I wasn't just Dr. Hathaway. I was Adrian Ivashkov's girlfriend. I need this year to remember who I am without him. Not just that, I'm about to start living on my own. I haven't done that ever. I am not about to jump into any relationships before I learn how to live with myself." And that was the truth, even if I was still confused about everything else in my life.

"Then why not say that from the beginning." He looked confused, and honestly a little angry.

"Because what does my love life matter to you? I'm not asking you permission or anything."

"No but I'd-" he began to say before the door opened.

"Hey Rose it's my lunch break. Ready to go?" Lissa said, her eyes sparkling with curiosity when she saw Dimitri.

"Yea," I said, opening my bottom drawer and taking out my purse. After getting to the door, I turned to Dimitri. "Do you want to have lunch with us? We're just going to discuss my homecoming party."

"You sure?," he asked, getting up to go hold the door for me. He searched my face for any indication I wasn't and I couldn't help the slight shiver that ran through me.

"Of course. It's just lunch, comrade." I shrugged my shoulder as I walked past him, locking arms with Lissa..

* * *

"That'll be $28," the girl behind the counter said, handing us a woven tray with the pizza of the day: Fresh Corn, Roma Tomatoes, Mozzarella and Parmesan Cheese, Fresh Basil, Garlic Olive Oil. The best part about Cheseboard Pizza was that it was one pizza served all day and they used cheese instead of tomato sauce. I was too busy grabbing the tray to stop Dimitri from pulling out a couple bills and paying.

"You didn't have to pay," I said once were seated. I was more than capable of paying myself.

"Mama always told me the guy always pays." He shrugged his shoulders and reached over for a slice.

"Can your mom educate all the man I've dated? Aside from Adrian, all of them were shit." I cringed the thought of some of the guys I dated, a bunch of asses that I'm embarrassed to have associated with.

"Oh my god. Remember Jesse?" Lissa said after moaning from the bite she took. I laughed, remembering just who that assclown was.

"Yes! Don't you remember him, comrade?" I looked over at him and the look on his face was comical

"How could I forget?" he said dryly, not saying anything else while he took another bite. "My first and last roommate. I can't believe you guys got all hot and heavy in my bed."

"It's not like we had sex," I muttered, slightly embarrassed.

"Because I walked in!" Dimitri looked up at me, focusing his brown eyes on my own.

"Don't be mad that my make out session was the most action that bedroom got." Dimitri now looked appalled and I laughed.

"You know I don't think we went out to talk about my scared bedroom." He quickly looked down and away from me.

"Don't you mean sacred," I teased, waggling my eyebrows. "Either way, you're right. Let's talk about my housewarming party."

"Have you seen the apartment yet?" Lissa asked. She was excited but I could see a little disappointment that I was actually going to move back into it.

"Nope." I took a swing of my beer before continuing. "Lia won't let me go. Yesterday, after I woke up I called her and she said it's not ready for me to see so I can't move in until she's ready. Which will be next week. So I'm thinking of having the party next Saturday. But first thing's first." I pulled out 2 envelopes, handing each of them the one with their names on it. Dimitri pulled out a key with a western design on it: cowboy hats, cowboy boots, horses, and lassos. Lissa's key had princess designs: tiaras and diamonds.

"Is this what I think it is?" Lissa asked.

"Yup. Keys to my apartment. It's not that I don't trust myself, but I'd feel better knowing that if anything happens you guys can get in quickly. Whether that's me having another slip or you can't go home for whatever reason and just need a place to stay. You both opened your doors to me and I'll never be able to repay that to you, but I can return the favor." I honestly felt that way. They both meant a lot to me, in different ways of course.

"Thank you Rose," they both said, all of us sharing a smile.

"And I figured, since I'm not allowed to go in yet, maybe you can go and see what it looks like and think of how to set it up for the party." Dimitri shook his head, taking another bite of his slice.

"That sounds good. I can get Camille to cater and Jill can do the baked goods." Camille was Lissa's friend from boarding school. They stayed in touch and we'd use her catering from time to time. Jill, aside from being my resident, was a goddess in the kitchen when it came to baking and Lissa's half-sister. We didn't find that out until I was in med school and she was starting out when I was halfway through. They don't have the best relationship, but they're amicable and it's been getting better. Sure, Lissa and I are more like sisters than she is with Jill, but they've come a long way since we met her and they're good friends at least.

"My mama can make something too if you'd like. I'm pretty sure she'll gladly make the food instead of having to hire the cater," Dimitri offered.

"That'll be hard to do when she's my guest," I said with a big smile. "I want her and your sisters to come."

"What about the kids?"

"They can come too and if they get bored or tired, my rooms open to them," I said, grabbing the last slice. "Oh and no gifts. I want it to be small, intimate, and casual. More like a big get together. So no gifts."

"Ok so who's on the guest list?" Lissa asked, pulling out a notebook and pen. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the gesture.

"The Belikova's, you and Christian, Eddie, Jill, Daniella and Nathan..."

"Angelina?" Dimitri offered, but probably wished he took it back after seeing the look of disgust I had.

"I like the girl, but her and Eddie broke up and that'll be too messy." I waved my hand in front of my face and Dimitri looked away, scrunching up his nose.

"They broke up!" Lissa put her pen down and looked at me, waiting for more.

"Mhm. Jill told me about it after Tasha's delivery. Apparently she was seeing some other guy behind his back. To make it worse, she tried sneaking him into her place." The poor guy, I couldn't help but feel bad for Eddie.

"Isn't she roommates with-" Lissa's eyes were wide as could be.

"Jill? Yea. And worst part was that poor Eddie was over because Angelina stood him up so he just hung out with Jill."

"I feel bad for Eddie, but I guess Jill's happy," Lissa said thoughtfully.

"Why would she be happy?" I fixed my eyes on her, immediately knowing she knew something I didn't.

"You seriously haven't noticed?" Lissa said, adding nothing to it. I wasn't much for gossiping, but when I'm left with questions like that, how can I not want to hear more? Making a mental note to keep an eye on Jill, I tried going back to the guest list but that was useless since we started gossiping. Finally, towards the end of our lunch break, we talked about the party, but it was hard to coordinate decorations and such since I had no clue what the venue looked like.

* * *

"I never would have pegged you for a gossiper," Dimitri noted as we walked back to my office. He had been quiet for the rest of lunch, but I didn't pay any mind to it.

"I'm not!" I quickly said, trying to defend myself. "Lissa's the gossip queen! I just listen to the latest updates."

"So you two weren't gossiping about our residents?" He teased, his eyes twinkling in mischief.

He was about to say something else when my arm shot out and stopped him.

"What the-?" I cut him off when I put my index finger against my lips.

Right in front of us were the headliners of the gossip column. Jill and Eddie. I don't know what they were talking about, but whatever it was had Jill laughing and Eddie with a big smile. They were both leaning against the nurse's station countertop. Looking hard enough, I noticed the slightest pink in Jill's cheek as she rambled about something, tucking a strand of her curly hair. It didn't stay though, so Eddie reached over and tucked it for her, making the slight pink in her cheeks to blow up to her whole face.

"Told you so," Lissa said from the other side of me. A knowing smile plastered on her lips.

"I can't believe I never noticed!" I was actually upset I was the last one in on this. I usually caught onto things a lot faster.

"You're heads been elsewhere. It's actually a very recent discovery." Lissa shrugged and gave me a small smile.

Laughing, I shook my head, my heart swelling from watching them, slightly relating it to Adrian and I, slightly hoping to find something like it again.

"Young love. I love hospital romances. We don't just save lives, we bring them together," I said, taking one last look at them before turning around and taking a different route to my office.

"Makes you want to have one of your own doesn't it?" Dimitri said as he caught up with me. He was hot on my heels and I didn't miss his strange tone.

"Maybe," I said after thinking about it for a second. "Mostly just restores my faith in love and makes me hope that someday I'll get another chance at it."

We got to my office and before I went in, I gave him a parting smile and thanked him for lunch. After closing the door, I swear I heard him ask what if someday was today, but when I opened the door he wasn't there. Shaking it off, I finalized my report and sent it to Alberta before my first appointment arrived.

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**A/N: Ooooo loves in the air at LA General Hospital (yea I just randomly named the hospital haha). Wonder if Cupid has some extra arrows for a certain someone ;) So next chapter's the "big" homecoming/homewelcoming party!**

**Any ideas about what's going to happen? (Please tell me cus I'm still writing the chapter).**

**How did you guys like this chapter? A little simple, a little goofy, no? The more reviews I get, the more likely I am to finish it sooner, and if I get enough reviews there might be a nice little treat in the next chapter ;)**


	9. Remembering But Not Living in the Past

**A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews :) and thanks to my awesome beta for making the chapters better!**

**So I'm almost at 100 followers...let's see if I can get 8 more followers by the end of the week! If I get them soon, I might just find the energy I need to finish the chapter sooner, which means my beta will get it sooner, with means I'll update sooner (hopefully!)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the VA characters**

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"Honey I'm home," I called out as I opened the door, half expecting the apartment to be empty.

"Honey no one gives a shit," Christian called back. When I walked a little further I saw him at the table eating a bowl of cereal, reading the paper, probably the comics. He was such a kid.

"Well hello Detective Sparky," I teased, loving how his icy blue eyes darkened when he glared at me.

"Hey yourself Doctor Rosie," he bit back, laughing when I slit my eyes and stalked off past him.

I was halfway to my room when I remembered something. "So when exactly do you plan on setting a date and marrying Lissa?"

"Why? It's not your wedding." He shrugged as he pushed the spoonful of cereal back into his mouth.

"True, but it took you four years to pop the question, wouldn't want it to make another four to get married." He rolled his eyes at me and finished chewing before speaking again.

"How about we make a deal?" he said, neatly folding his paper and clasping his arms on top. "I'll set the date when you admit you still have feelings for your coworker."

I was about to ask how he knew, but that was exactly what he wanted, so instead I quickly changed the subject. I wasn't going to admit such nonsense. Not now, not ever.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready?" He just laughed before getting up to go to his room.

"You know, Rosie, you can't bury this under the rug, not like you did ten years ago." I hated it when the bastard was right.

Sighing, I went back to my room to try and shake off his warning. Looking through my closet for an outfit, my clothes started to blur and my focus turned to Dimitri. It's been over a week since I thought I heard Dimitri say "Maybe someday was today" and things had gone back to normal. Almost. It's like my senses heighten in terms of Dimitri, like we were first year med school students again. I've started noticing little things about him I didn't catch before. Like the look he gives when he's lying, or the way he tucks his hair back when he's a bit nervous and out of his elements. Things that only a girlfriend would notice. Or someone who was interested in him.

Laying on my bed, I took a deep breath and reminded myself of why Dimitri was a bad choice. I'm still not ready to move on yet. He's my closest guy friend, and second best friend. I can't put my heart in a place of vulnerability like I did in med school. He might not even have the same feelings. But with every reason, I had a rebuttal. So at the end I got up and called Lissa.

"Are you close?" she said in place of a greeting, knowing me too well.

"No. I can't find something to wear." I shuffled through my closet again, picking out the three best ideas I had, describing each outfit to her.

"Well nothing black. So that leaves you with the dress and the shorts." I could hear her tapping her fingers against some counter. She was really into this, and probably stopped everything just to make sure I dressed right.

"Well what are you wearing?" Maybe knowing what she was in would help me choose.

"Me? Just some maxi dress."

"Liss, you don't own any maxi dresses." I stopped grabbing random clothes and put it down as I verified in my head that she truly didn't own one.

"Noo, but you do. Speaking of which, we should go shopping one of this days. I seriously need a few of these in my closet and yours needs an update."

"Thanks," I said dryly before agreeing to set aside some time to go to the mall. "So what about what I should wear?"

"Well the shorts might be a little overly dressed and like you're going to a club, but the dress could be underdress."

"Lissa! You're no help! I could get a better response from the pyro across the hall." I heard him huff in response and continue whatever it was he was doing.

"Well try both on and send me a picture and we can see. Does that sound better?" I groaned a little, but knew it was the best shot I had.

"Yea," I said before ending the call and doing what she suggested.

Once I tried them on, I had already made up my mind. Who cares if I'm overdressed? It's my party so I get to be as dressed up as I want to. After taking a quick shower, I started working on my hair. I had just finished loosely curling it and applying a second coat of mascara when I went back to my bed to change.

After putting on some lotion, I slipped on my high-waisted, shimmery, sparkly gold shorts and my loose, white button down blouse that was kind of see-through so I had on a white bandeau underneath. I went back to the bathroom and pinned up the top strands of my hair and finished my makeup before putting on my gold hoops and a gold tennis bracelet. I finished the outfit with look with my black Saint Laurent think ankle strap black sandals with a 4.5" heel.

Giving myself a once over and bouncing my perfect curls, I grabbed my black clutch and joined Christian in the living room, having to pull him away from his game so that we could leave.

LINE BREAK

"Can't find the key hole?" Christian asked in his usual sarcastic tone, lifting his arms up in surrender when I glared at him.

But he had a point, we've been standing outside my loft's door for a few minutes, my key in my hand and inches away from the key hole on the door. And yet, here I was, frozen in place with terror and nervousness. I haven't seen the apartment, and nothing Lia's sent me has made enough sense for me to try and imagine what I was walking into to. The most important thing I was scared of was that she either changed it too much and it didn't feel like a place I wanted to live in, or she didn't change it enough and everything I past emotionally came rolling back in and squashed me.

Taking a deep breath, I tried mentally preparing myself for whatever the outcome was and I tried to bring out that excitement that was buried under my fear. As I worked on that, I couldn't help but wish I had someone with me who could tell me what I wanted to hear. Someone like Dimitri. Of course, as life had it, I was stuck with Christian, whose idea of motivation was to oh so gently nudge me so that the arm with the key moved forward and into the slit in the door and then grabbing my hand and turning it, the door automatically opening upon being unlocked.

"Oops," he said before pushing the door open and entering, whistling when he saw whatever was inside.

Taking a deep breath, I walked in behind him, stopping in my tracks when I saw the living room, one thing in particular catching my eye. But before I said anything, I walked in further to see the whole room.

It was simple but had this feminine touch to it that made it feel like a home rather than a place of living. The walls were a cream beige color, with the door frames and window pane trimmed white. The couch on the wall adjacent to the window and the door was white with a couple red throw pillows and black/white patterned throw pillows, a red blanket purposefully thrown to the side of the couch. Underneath was red rug with white and black patterned circles on it, and a lamp was next to the couch, the light bent over to the shine down on the end of it. On the wall was one of Adrian's paintings, my favorite one.

It was a simple red rose that was painted so well it looked like it had the same soft, velvety texture of a real one, and the background was painted in two different shades of brown, one slightly lighter than the other. According to Adrian it's supposed to represent my eyes and hair. On the opposite side was a flat screen TV hanging on the wall, with a plain white book shelf/table underneath it, holding a few framed photos from our weekend trips or group trips and books and CD's in its cubbies. To either side of the TV was a three tiered shelf, the bottom shelves held books, while the middle right one had one of Lissa, Christian, Dimitri, Adrian and I from Cabo, while the other shelf held another one of Adrian's paintings.

It was a black canvas and scattered throughout where these seemingly simple, but very intricate snowflakes. It was beautiful and one I wished he had expanded on, but was also glad it was as it was. On the top shelves, there was a big red vase on the left side, while the right side was home to a porcelain doll Adrian gave me for our first Christmas together. On the opposite side of the couch, away from the door, was a big window that overlooked the park along side of the apartment complex, where you could see kids running around and playing or families throwing barbecues on weekends. There was a door to the outdoor patio, where a dark wooden table was placed so I could enjoy a nice meal with a nice view. Thankfully it was the summertime and I could enjoy eating outdoors, I just hope when it start getting colder it'll be easy to move inside.

Walking back inside, I was once again stunned by Adrian's painting hanging in the middle of my living room on display. I always joked with Adrian about showcasing his work, but every time he shot the idea down, instead putting it up in the room he used as his art studio. With a pang in my chest, I wondered what Lia did to that room, but decided to wait until I got it there.

"So um the uh the painting," I struggled to say, hoping she'd get what I was saying or that Lissa could finish it for me.

"Oh the rose? I found it in one of the rooms and thought it was practically criminal to keep it hidden so I placed all the finished ones throughout the house. The rose really fit with the room so of course I put it here, and the snowflakes was hard to place since it didn't really fit any of the rooms, so I figured it looked best here since it has the black background."

"Where's the pirate?"

"The pi– oh! The motorcycle one! It's hanged in the hallway with another painting and a picture." A small smile passed my lips as I remembered the day he came running in to show me the picture. He was so proud of it, but it was rather strange.

Nodding my head, I decided to join Lissa in the kitchen before going down the hallway.

The wall that separated the entry from the rest of the loft was also where the kitchen started. The 'kitchen was painted white on the cabinets and drawers, with the wall an off white, almost pale beige, color, while the countertop was black and all the appliances were stainless steel, including the island in the middle with counter space and sink and more drawers. On the side of the wall was a sink in the middle with ample countertop space on both sides, cabinets on top and an array of drawer on the bottom. On the side next to it was more counter space, with a mirror instead of a wall that had a rack for the shallow pots, and a big four-burner stove with a big oven underneath next to it. Alongside that was a big refrigerator with a pullout freezer underneath.

"It's nice huh?" Lissa said, calmly sipping some water.

All I could do was nod my head before walking down the hallway, it was now or never. Sure enough, hanging on one of the ivory painted walls was the Adrian's favorite and most treasured painting, a skeleton pirate on a motorcycle with a skeleton parrot on his shoulder. I might not get where he came up with such an idea, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it. It always made me laugh and it was a constant reminder of Adrian's humorous side. Right next to it was another one of his simple but beautiful paintings.

The background was a swirl of purple and yellow, a combination I never really got, and in the middle, in a bold, shimmering gold color was this intricate design with a lily at the bottom. I asked him once where he got that from, and he said he saw someone with it as a tattoo and the image always stuck with him. On the opposite wall, in a wide frame, was a picture of all us when we went out to celebrate our anniversary, it even had Jill and Eddie in the picture.

Taking my millionth deep breath, I grabbed the doorknob to my room. Before I opened it, I felt a thin hand slide into my other hand and give a gentle squeeze. Looking up, I saw Lissa giving me a small, encouraging smile.

"You don't have to go in now. You can do it later. You can check out the guest room or just wait until after the party." Looking into her eyes, I knew she was just trying to help me as best as she could, but I also knew she wanted me to go in and see it. Deciding to just do it, I nodded my head before opening the door.

On the other side was the doorway to my closet. A walk-in closet I couldn't resist going into. One side had all of my tops and bottoms and dresses, while the next side had my coats with three drawers underneath, and the last wall had my shoes and the entrance to my bathroom. Walking back out to my room, I saw it was painted a pale indigo blue, with all the wall trims, panes, frames painted white. The wall adjacent to my door and closet was mostly a window, with two light gray sofa chairs and a matching small circular table in front. The back of my door was a built-in mirror and on the other side of my door was a nightstand with a white lamp on top and a single drawer.

Next to it was my queen sized bed, covered in light sky blue sheets and a matching comforter and pillows, plus a regular sky blue throw pillow and a cylindrical pillow that was the same light shade as my sheets with paisley design in black in a slightly darker shade of blue. In front of my bed was a wall that had my TV on the top and four shelves carved into the wall, mostly bare except for a few pictures of me and Lissa over the years, almost like a timeline of us at all of our graduations.

"It's so beautiful," I said, a bit afraid to touch anything in case it turns back to crap when I do.

"And it's so you. It's simple but beautiful and it's not all pink and girly like you hate it, but the shade of blue is so womanly and has the slightest hint of purple in it," Lissa said. "We just need to find things to add to your shelves."

Laughing, I joked about finding DIY ideas in my spare time.

"You joke now, but you might actually find something you like."

Shaking my head, I looped my arms through hers, ready to head back out and finish getting everything ready for the party. Of course, we didn't get a chance since the doorbell rang just as we got everything out of the oven.

LINE BREAK

"Hello?" I couldn't really see the person at the door since they were hidden behind a massive basket filled with baked goods.

"H-h-hi. My mom just wanted me to give you this as a welcome since you're moving in," said basket holder, his voice a little high but still normal almost like he's in his mid or early 20's.

"Oh well, actually," I said, grabbing the basket from him and inviting him in as we went to the kitchen. "I'm moving back in. I've lived here for almost a year, but I was gone for about half of it. Did your mom just move in recently?" From my peripheral vision, I studied him closely, noting he was a handsome young thing. He couldn't be older than 24, maybe 26, years old.

"Yea a couple months ago. I'm Nikolai." He extended his hand once I placed the basket down. Turning around I gave him a warm smile and shook his hand

"Rose. Well welcome to the neighborhood. If you're not doing anything later tonight, I'm having a small get together as a house warming party. You and your mom should stop by, especially since you guys are newer than me." I couldn't help but smile at him, his warm eyes showing him to be nice and innocent.

"Oh um well thanks for the offer, Rose. I'll let her know. She doesn't like to go out much, but I'll be sure to come. I should probably go and tell Mom right now though. I'll see you later."

"See you later," I said walking him out. I was about to close the door when I saw a familiar Russian turn the corner, a group of woman behind him. A smile crossed my face without my permission when our eyes met, my mind registering how his pace picked up ever so slightly.

"Roza," he said when he finally got to my door.

"Comrade." I held the door open while he entered, his mom, sisters, and niece and nephew following,

"Roza, this is my mother and my sister Karolina," he said, as he gestured to the two woman.

"It's nice to officially meet you Mrs. Belikova. Dimitri has told me a lot about you," I said, holding my hand out, but was quickly surprised when she pulled me into a hug.

"And he's told us a lot about you," Karolina said, nodding her head in a greeting once her mom let go of me.

"Hush, Karo. And please call me Olena, you're practically family since all we've heard about these past ten years was the infamous Roza that –"

"And you remember my baby sister, Viktoria, and of course, Sonya," Dimitri cut in. Obviously, I was quick to hug Viktoria. The minute she moved to LA and Dimitri introduced us, she became part of the group. I had more pictures with her and Lissa than I did with Adrian, and I knew him longer. I almost gave Sonya a hug, but I saw she was holding Alex.

"And I'm Paul," said a tall ten year old that almost looked like Dimitri.

"Well hi Paul, I've heard a lot about you too. And you're sister Zoya." Looking around, I noticed I couldn't find her. Paul pointed behind me, and I saw she was walking around my TV looking at all the pictures Lia had put up.

"This is a beautiful home," Olena said when the silence started to draw on.

"Thanks. It's actually my first time seeing it," I said, a small laugh coming out. "My dad hired a designer to come and renovate it I guess. It's almost like I'm in a completely new loft, but it still feels like the one I've come to think of a home for the past two years."

I was about to say something else, when there was a knock in the door. Opening up, I saw three cops on the other side, all of them waggling their eyebrows.

"Christian," I shouted into the apartment. "Your bitches are here." I flashed the guys a bright smile when their faces dropped as I let them in. "I'm sorry? Did I say something wrong?"

"Rose you could learn how to treat your guest better," Christian said, sounding appalled.

"Well I would if I knew they were invited to begin with." I turned to the kitchen and gave Lissa a knowing look.

"Ok I know you said small, but the list you gave me was hardly anything so I asked Christian to invite some of his buddies and I may have invited a few people from the hospital among some other people we know." She bit her bottom lip waiting for me to explode, but I was actually excited to have this many people here, it was comforting.

"That's fine by me, I just didn't know Christian even knew what a buddy was." I joked and she giggled as she pulled me back into the kitchen.

It wasn't long before everyone arrived and the "party" was in full swing. Being the good hostess I was, I went around and thanked everyone for coming and had small conversations here and there, but I mostly bounced between Daniella and Nathan and the Belikova women. Apart from the endless list of topics we touched, they not once gave me any look of sympathy or asked how I was holding up or said anything close to Adrian expect for asking who did the artwork and who the man in the pictures was. As soon as I said he was dead, they nodded their heads and never brought him up again.

"So, Olena," I began, testing the name out since she already scolded me three times for saying Mrs. Belikova. "How long are you and Karolina and the kids in LA for?"

"Well two or three more weeks. We had bought tickets to be here a month or so, so that we could help Sonya and Kal with the end of the pregnancy and getting used to living with a baby."

"Oh. I was wondering if you or Karolina would mind if I took the kids out."

"Take who out?" Karolina asked, joining us at the perfect time.

"Your kids. The hospital gives employees a discount on tickets to Disneyland, Universal Studios, and Magic Kingdom, and an another discount for getting all three. So I was wondering if you and the whole family would like to go. It'd be on me." The idea actually was exciting to me, making me feel like a kids again. The only reason I never took advantage was because I never had kids to take as an excuse.

"Oh that's really kind of you to offer, but I couldn't leave you stuck with that kind of bill."

"Oh it's no bother, you're saving me money actually. And I know it's weird that I just met you guys and I'm asking to take your kids out. But I've known Dimitri for ten years and all he talks about it his family and what he would do if you guys ever came to visit and I want to repay him for giving me a place to stay. Plus, I'm sure you could use the break, and if you don't want to come, I have a guest room the kids can stay in."

"Oh mama please!" Paul said, wrapping his arms around his mom's waist and looking up at her with the biggest puppy eyes. "I'll stop bugging you about doing something fun."

Olena's eyes shown like she'd say yes the second I said my idea, but Karolina looked torn. On the one hand, who could say no to Paul with those eyes, and on the other she looked like she was a bit skeptical about me, which I completely understood. I'm a total stranger asking to have her kids over for a few days. It was nice to see how protective she was.

"What's in it for you?" she finally asked.

"Oh well here's the thing. I'm not used to living on my own, I've always had a roommate, but now I'm on my own, in the apartment I shared with my fiancé no less, and I just I could use the company. Plus, like I said before, this seems like the perfect way to pay Dimitri back, by letting him take his niece and nephew out like he always imagined. And, to be honest, I'm just using them as an excuse to go to the parks without being a loner and a weirdo."

That last confession had them both laughing before Karolina paused to look at her children. "Fine. I'll let you and Dimitri take them out, but I'd like to go to. And it's not because I don't trust you, even though I don't, but this is their first time going and I'd like to live that memory with them."

"Oh of course! I'm sorry if I made it seem like you weren't invited. I was actually hoping you'd come along. I wanted it to be a whole Belikov family trip, with little Rose as the tag along." I smiled widely, I was starting to love this idea.

"Tagging along to what?" Dimitri asked, his face not quite as playful and teasing as his voice, which meant he was here to talk about something not to good.

"Oh Roza just invited us to go to Disneyland and the other parks around the area," Olena said. Whatever had soured Dimitri's mood was quickly forgotten when him mom said that and his face was covered in shock as he looked at me.

"You did what?"

"Well you're always talking about how you wanted to take them, so I took up the opportunity to ask them and also offered my loft to do that sleepover you mentioned a few times, since your apartment isn't big enough for the two of us, much less you and your niece and nephew."

I didn't even finish the sentence when he pulled me into a tight hug, thanking me a million times. I couldn't help but smile at him and hug him back. When he put me down, I noticed his mom and sister had left. I didn't have much time to think about it since Dimitri took my hand in his and led me towards the hallway.

"So I'm assuming you didn't come over to join in our conversation or to take a tour of my loft." I shifted slightly nervously, wondering what he wanted to talk about.

"No," he said slowly, the sour mood returning. "Your little friend came by and met my sister."

"Little friend?" I followed where he was looking and saw Nikolai and Viktoria out on the deck, close together and talking about something funny since both had a big smile on their face.

"Well they seem to be hitting it off," I noted as he started going down the hallway.

"You're telling me you didn't invite him with the sole purpose of introducing him to my sister?" I almost laughed at him. He seriously thought I had set this up?

"Uhh no. I invited him because he brought me cookies and brownies and he's new too. Honestly, Dimitri, it's not like all I think about is your family."

"Then what were you thinking about when you suggested going to all the amusement parks?" he asked, his voice lowering as he pinned me to the door to the room. My entire vision was cut off to just him and my mind turned to a puddle as I locked eyes with him.

"I uh uh you?" I said, struggling to come up with a coherent thought, my hand clutching my doorknob as if it could give me strength

"Me?"

I could only manage to nod my head as I noticed his face getting closer to mine until hislips met mine. A simple kiss, but it lit me up on the inside, turning on every emotion I had forgotten I had, every desire, every passion amplifying as he deepened the kiss. My hands slipped and the door opened, but I didn't fall since Dimitri took that as a chance to wrap me up in his arms and pull me closer and off the ground, walking inside while my feet dangled. I didn't even try to stop the moan that came out when he lightly ran his tongue along my lips, mine automatically opening as we laid down on my bed. If I thought the kiss was bring out things I had forgotten, now it was turning on things I didn't know existed while the kiss picked up heat.

I caught sight of my new room as I opened my eyes. There was no light on but it was far from dark. I pulled away just as the moon came out from behind a cloud, lighting Dimitri's face perfectly. He looked like the statue of David and I couldn't help the small whimper that left me. I looked out the window and saw the starts shining around the full moon. It set a mood I couldn't have planned better. My attention was brought back to Dimitri as he once again dipped his head closer to me and kissed me.

And for once, I was letting myself enjoy it as I returned the kiss with just as much passion and desire.

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**AW SNAPS! I wonder what's going to happen next? I told y'all big things happen in factors of 10 ;)**

**Leave me a review and tell me if you want things to go to where they're headed or if you want them to slow down**

**See you next week (maybe, I'm going to San Diego for 4th of July and I don't know when I'll be back)**


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